About the Baby

2011-11-26T18:27:00.001-06:00

Ok, I'm just going to jump right in here. I know, where are the Halloween pics? Wah. I'll get to that later. I wanted to post now because I'm thinking and noticing a lot about Lily right now.

Here we are in the middle of Thanksgiving weekend. She's been off school all week, we've been staying home a lot and playing, Dad is off work...she's being more responsible about picking things up and putting them away on her own. She is saying please and thank you without being prompted. She's happy and not whiny. She's playing on her own sometimes and with us other times and there's no rush to get to the next activity.

This is how homeschooling is going to be. That is my happy thought. She likes being home with Mom and Dad and being at home in general, taking her time playing...I like this.

Fawn Doe Rosa

2011-08-20T12:01:00.003-05:00

This is what I did a few days after I got back from Mom's--went to pet animals at this cool wildlife education park called Fawn Doe Rosa in St. Croix Falls, Wisconsin, about an hour and a half outside the Twin Cities. I was supposed to have a therapy appointment that day, but this seemed like better therapy.

Lily picked up the animals with no hesitation, as you can see here with this baby bunny. She was very gentle.

Some of the animals were in cages, but even they looked pretty happy. Look how cute this is--a fox snuggling with his stuffed toy, which I think is a lamb. He was playing with it right before I took this picture.

Lily petting and feeding the goats, who were pretty speedy. We bought bags of food there to feed the animals, which consisted of carrots, corn, dog chow, and milk bones.

Okay, here comes the best part:

There were tame deer walking around all over the park. They were so beautiful, with their big eyes. We fed this one first, and petted it, and the girls were hugging it. It was so cute!

There were also a lot of lambs to feed and pet. Now, you'd think that they could have the lambs outside the fence, because they're, you know, gentle lambs, right? Wrongo! These lambs were so dang pushy, we all called them budgie lambs, because they kept budging other lambs out of the way to get the food!! And it was the big ones that were the worst. They'd shove the baby lambs out of the way with their heads, it was so comical. And yet naughty. The girls kept running to other portions of the fence, trying to get the little lambs to run over to them first.

And lastly, a pony ride. On a really fat pony! Lily loved it.

It was a great day of fun with my girls (Lily, Tegan, and Jeri Kay).

My Superpowers

2011-08-20T11:51:00.000-05:00

This is my arm, as of yesterday. I fell down the stairs while I was carrying Lily, because a certain dog was on the landing and I didn't see her. Because of my Mom superpowers, I did not fall all the way down, and Lily was unhurt, and I didn't break anything. But I have these horrible bruises on my arm, from where I hit the wall and the wrought iron railing. Squish! It looks really awful, and yeah, it hurts. But then I have to think that it could have been a lot worse. Thank God for those superpowers that make your body do everything possible in order not to drop or hurt your child.

The Tentscape

2011-06-05T20:03:00.001-05:00

Here's what it looked like from inside the tent this morning:

The previous night, we heard coyotes and an owl before we fell asleep. I think the coyotes were really close.

And here's all our pillows and sleeping bags squished together. I brought my Kindle, which worked great with my headlamp. I love my Kindle. I was reading an essay about Japan after the recent earthquake and tsunami, called Into The Forbidden Zone by William T. Vollman. It's one of those Kindle Singles, which I think is a great idea because they're often on very timely topics and this one is about 60 pages, too long for a newspaper or magazine article.

Here's Lily this morning at the Dodge Preschool playground. This is a little tower for the kids to climb into. A bunch of girls went up there and Lily did, too, but she mostly observed their play. They were playing Rapunzel, as one of the girls had a wig and dress (yes, I know, yak) from the Tangled movie. She was perfect for the part, a real drama queen (spoiled brat at times).

Lily would drift in and out of play with them, and not participate in the drama. She's very much an observer. She takes it all in, but often it's intense enough from a distance and she doesn't want to jump in. Which is how I was as a child. So I think it's fine! Not just because I was like that, but really, I'm grateful she's not into the drama. She does play-acting sometimes, so it's not that she doesn't have an imagination. But she stays herself. She doesn't like to do face-painting. She doesn't really dress up in costume. But she has a very strong personality.

Here's Lily running after the other girls. She's always up for a game of chase. Shortly after this was teken, Rapunzel tripped or something and I think she tore her dress. Or maybe she just fell in the grass. But she was wailing like she had a mortal wound, and all the other girls were gathering around her. Lily stood back and observed.

This grassy area is actually part of their playground, which is so fabulous. All the playground pieces (swings, tower, sandbox, etc) are spread out in this grassy area, so it's wonderful to run around in bare feet, which Lily did for a while. I think it also gives the kids some breathing room. It feels very organic, esp. with things like a garden, a slide built into a natural hill, things like that.

And here's Lily after we got home from camping. She napped (which she doesn't do much anymore) from 11-2, she was so worn out from all the activity this weekend. What a great time we had!

Camping!

2011-06-05T19:38:00.000-05:00

So that was the first half of Saturday, swim class, ballet show, pony ride, oh, and bouncy house, but I didn't take pics of that. We also ate mini-donuts. It's that time of year, where every festival outdoors has a mini-donut vendor. You don't have to wait for the State Fair anymore, they're everywhere! I love it. So did Lily.

Then we had to go home and get ready for camping! Tegan's Mum invited us to this family party at Dodge Nature Center, where Tegan goes to preschool. It is so cool there! They have woods and ponds and a squishy swamp (okay, wetland, but I called it The Squish), and some animals who were hurt in the wild and brought there to recover and teach kids about wildlife. And even a bear head someone found while camping up north. Actually he found a whole bear (dead) but only brought back the head. So they put it in a cage outdoors and are leaving it to decompose, and the kids can watch it. I know, it sounds disgusting, but it was actually really cool. There is still fur on the top of the head, but the mouth is clean of skin and fur, and you can see the big jaw and huge teeth this black bear had. I think it's actually a pretty neat way to teach kids.

So we went to this party called Rock the Barn, at their barn area, and they had music, a craft fair, concessions (they ran out of veggie hot dogs before I could get any, which pissed me off. I swear, that happens at every event we go to where they have veg dogs, I think because a bunch of meat-eaters decide to try it. Hey! Back off of my dogs, you carnivores!), face painting, and some animals the kids could touch. Lily held three baby chicks, one after the other, until I had to drag her away to do something else. Before that she sat in a chair and had a snake in her lap. I controlled my squeam factor reaction. She actually really likes snakes.

There was also a hayloft in the barn where they kids could jump in the hay, and then use a hoist to lift a hay bale. She liked that. I let Dad take her in there, because I'm allergic to hay.

I didn't take any pics of Rock the Barn because I forgot the camera in the tent and didn't feel up to being the photographer. I had a migraine from the sun and had to do my injections in the tent. It worked okay. But I was a bit crankers. Esp. when they ran out of veg dogs.

But it was a beautiful place and we slept in the tent in the forest, with Tegan and her mom right next to us in their tent, and the girls had a fabulous time. This was Lily's first time camping and I think it was a wonderful introduction to it. Here she is in the tent:

After the Rock the Barn party, there was a campfire for the people who were camping. It was really fun, with all families with kids. They played together well. Lily roasted a few marshmallows but didn't really eat them. Her and Tegan liked eating them raw better.

Here's Lily after dark. T.'s mom got them both these cute kiddie camp chairs to sit in.

And here's the fire in the dark. I love taking pics of campfires.

And here's our little glowing child. I think there might have been a flashlight pointed at her. That or she's glowing from within. Notice her flaming marshmallow. She never had any intention of eating it. Just wanted to see it burning, I guess. Which is pretty fun.

And Then, A Pony Ride!

2011-06-05T18:43:00.000-05:00

No, really! Actually I think it was a regular horse, just short. But it was so fun! At the same festival, just across the ball field from the stage where they did their ballet performance. Cool! It was very well organized, too. And sweet. There were two horses, so two lines, and when we got up to the front of the line, before the kid got on the horse of their choice, they got to put a carrot in a bucket and hold it up for the horse to eat! Lily wasn't afraid at all, which I thought was so wonderful.

Man, I look fat in these pictures. In my mind I weigh as much as the horse handler.

Lily held onto the horn at first like they told her to, but then she just relaxed her hands and went with it. I think she was very comfortable.

When I asked her later if she liked riding in the saddle, she said no, that she wanted to ride on the horse's fur. Aw. Maybe one day.

Circle Time

2011-06-05T18:29:00.000-05:00

I have no idea what Lily is thinking, but what a funny face!

Everyone get in a circle

Doesn't the teacher look like she's having fun? This must be why the kids love her.

Hey, Lily's smiling!

And another smile! I think she's having a good time.

And check this out, I love this teacher. When they're all done, she parades them around the stage so all the parents can cheer and take pics of their kid.

Hooray!!!

The Twirl!

2011-06-05T18:15:00.000-05:00

Wait for it, here's the exciting part, and so kewt!

I love Lily's expression here, she's very inwardly focused.

I was trying to watch live and take the pic at the same time, so I'm a bit off center here...

Oh, I love this one.

And this. I think the two ballerinas in the back got lost because they were getting their feet tangled up in the cords for the sound equipment. Ah, show biz. It's rough.

Tegan sure looks like she's gettin' into it.

Dancing, Sometimes

2011-06-05T18:07:00.000-05:00

And now for a series of not very exciting shots, but it's my kid so hey. This might have been more interesting as a video, but we can't find our charger cord for the video camera. So just try to imagine they're moving (which they were, sometimes, when they weren't too distracted). I think Lily had fun but was a little grumpy when she had the sun in her eyes. She seems to be very sensitive to bright lights and noise, which worries me a bit, as that's what bothers me when I have a migraine...but back to the dancing!

Standing in the right spot.

Watching Miss K

First position

Um, yeah, stick one of your feet out.

Stick that belly out!

Hopping foot to foot

Tegan is rockin' out

Little Ballerina

2011-06-05T13:48:00.000-05:00

We've had a busy weekend. Saturday we had swim class and then a ballet show, or recital, I guess you'd call it, by Lily's ballet class. It was pretty informal, outside on a stage as a part of the park's annual festival (the park being McRae Park, where Lily takes her ballet class through Mnpls Parks and Rec). It was so much fun to watch all these little girls, who love their ballet teacher, Miss K., trying to pay attention and follow along with Miss K's movements. Here they are parading out of the gym to the outdoor stage:

That's Miss K in the front with the light blue top on.

Lily chose to wear a blue t-shirt under her tutu. That's Tegan right behind her. They are in the same class together.

Tegan works on her royal wave.

Then they had to sit quietly in the front row while the other classes went (there were four):

See John standing in the back, and Lily and Tegan in the bottom middle of the shot.

Nose-picker! Not my kid.

Then they paraded up onto the stage with Miss K in front:

More Art Park

2011-05-29T08:49:00.001-05:00

This sculpture's title was "Queen":

So here's the queen of our hearts:

And if that wasn't fun enough, there was a rope swing! Playground swings just don't compare to that utter freedom of the long arc of a rope swing attached to a majestic tree. Lily said she felt like she was flying:

And lastly, here's a sweet sculpture that captures how I felt about this peaceful family outing:

Art Park Hike

2011-05-29T08:31:00.001-05:00

Yesterday, after having a proper holiday weekend breakfast--donuts from Mel-O-Glaze--we all piled in the car (Cocoa included) and went to Caponi Art Park in Eagan, MN, about 20 minutes from our home. We got there early in the morning and no one else was there. It was beautiful weather, cool and a little cloudy and breezy. So we went for a little hike and looked at the Sculpture Garden. Following the path, Lily would say, "Follow me! I know the way!" and she'd run ahead and discover another sculpture and then tell us to come see.

Here's one that's called "Nugget," that looks kind of like a hand with fingers clasping one half. We had to lift Lily up to see the fingers on the top:

I like how rainwater collects between the fingers.

Here's one called "Lovers":

I asked Lily what she thought this one looked like:

She said they looked like birds from her show "Dinosaur Train." I quite agree. Pteranodons. Made of iron.

The trail was a bit muddy from all the rain we've had lately, so it was fun for Lily to pick up sticks and draw in the mud:

Look at that golden hair in the morning sun...

When You Die...

2011-05-21T14:34:00.000-05:00

"Dad, when you die, Mommy and I will give you some food so you can grow up and not be dead."

Um, ok. Starting to try to process death and what it means. Hmmm. I think they say something in school about it; they don't shy away from such topics. It's just fascinating how she tries to process it.

One day we squished an ant because it was inside the house, and we put it in the trash can, where Lily said it would be happy. "Um, no, it's dead," I said. But she was undaunted. It can still be happy dead, why not?

Lunchtime and a Little More Playtime

2011-05-21T13:15:00.000-05:00

The Lunchtime Gang

Lily and I dress up in quilts at playtime. Oh so fun!

And Playtime, Too!

2011-05-21T13:08:00.000-05:00

The other really fun thing about Lily's celebration was that we got to stay and play as long as we wanted with Lily and the other kids. So we got to really see what they do in school. I mean, you know, we knew from descriptions, but that's the first time we actually got to be there and participate. I think Lily loved it.

Lily in the playroom, making a bed out of a bench.

Playing with toddler-sized wooden bowls (all of their toys are all-natural materials, like wood, or wool) in the play kitchen.

Lily playing with some knit and crocheted kitties.

It was a beautiful day outside, and they always play a couple times outdoors. Here's one of the popular toys: a bouncy board. I even got to try it.

Lily in the actual Willow House that the kids built last year in the backyard.

Lily playing on a wooden structure that is alternately imagined as a house, a boat, a rocket ship, and I forget what else. I know Lily told me it was one more thing...

Birthday at Preschool

2011-05-21T12:48:00.000-05:00

Lily's preschool likes to have all the kids be able to celebrate their birthdays during the school year, so last week we got to celebrate with Lily at school. It was so much fun! First of all, they do this really sweet ceremony where she wears a crown and a cape and sits on a chair with beautiful silks on it. And one of the teachers tells a story about when Lily was up in heaven and her guardian angel was with her. It was so calm and sweet and loving.

Lily was a bit shy about the attention, I think, and was mostly looking at us and holding on to John's arm.

Her teacher is helping Lily light candles for each year she's been alive. We sang a verse about the world turning for each year.

Here's the other kids in her class, sitting quietly around the table, listening to the story and watching Lily.

Lily and I bring a special birthday snack to share with everyone.

We made mini-cupcakes, strawberry flavor (pink) and pink frosting. They were a hit. Pretty soon you could hear, "More snack, please," from everyone.

Lily was pretty happy, although she was very quiet about it.

She's So Beautiful

2011-05-13T19:45:00.000-05:00

"Mom, you're so beautiful I'm going to keep you forever and ever." Well, dang, that just made my day for about a week.

I've been really sick and haven't been able to play with Lily so I've been really enjoying my time with her again this week since I've gotten somewhat better. I had terrible flu last week and now I have a cold. Every time I cough, Lily says, "Mom, I'm sorry you don't feel good." Aw.

Today we played "Babies," in which we take care of several of her small stuffed animals (also known as "soft friends"). Usually we rescue the babies first, like today they were in a stroller and a big dinosaur came by and knocked it over with his big foot. So we rescued them and gave them food and water. One baby swallowed some seawater (when did we go to sea? I know, I try to keep up) so we had to give him some medicine.

Then Lily read them a story I gave her the book and she made a up a story pretty well approximating the one in the book.

Full of it

2011-04-27T10:38:00.001-05:00

Oh boy am I crabby. I think because I'm mad that Lily is suffering right now. Monday evening around dinnertime she started saying that her butt hurt, that it had "splinters." This continued for a couple hours off and on. We looked for splinters but there weren't any. I think that's just the latest way of expressing how something hurts for her, because that afternoon I had pulled a splinter out of her foot after she was running around barefoot in the backyard.

Well, I got worried it was a yeast infection, and I have a lot of emotional baggage about those. I hate all doctors about it, because none of them has ever believed me when I've tried to express the amount of pain yeast infections give me. Except that one doctor in the overnight urgent care who gave me Vicodin after I was screaming in pain... Anyway, my point is that I didn't want Lily to be having pain like that. So we decided to take her in to the ER just to be safe and get her checked out. Well, oh joy, it was busy that evening, and we waited 2 1/2 hours to get in, along with many screaming children, and a bad mother paying more attention to her iPhone than her sick kid (I was not feeling sympathetic at all).

Lily was happy the whole time, finding things to entertain herself, and playing with us. She said it didn't hurt anymore, but I didn't want to go home. Well, good thing we stayed. A nurse practitioner saw us (often more helpful than the doctor) and said Lily's genitals looked normal, but that she wanted to do an x-ray to check for poop. She said it was possible what was hurting Lily was constipation.

So we went to the x-ray room and Lily lied down on the big table and John and I got to stand next to her in lead aprons. She wasn't scared at all, as usual, just curious. Then we went back to the room and waited some more (we didn't get home until 1am). The results were that Lily was FULL of poop, like 5 or 6 bowel movements in there, all over her GI tract (track? I don't know). So they had to do an enema. An enema for a 4-yr old?? Yes. Did Lily cry? No. The nurses who did it were very nice, and I was holding on to her the whole time. Then we had to wait while it worked, and after the nurses left Lily said that it didn't feel good when they put the medicine in her bottom. Oh, I could have cried! So then she had to go make a big poop, and they sent us home with some laxative and instructions on changing her diet.

Evidently constipation is common for little kids, and we found out we're giving her way too much milk, which is a big factor. So we're changing that. But she also has to take 10 days of this laxative.

So, the first laxative poop at home was green diarrhea. They could have told me what to expect!! Because I was rather alarmed and called Lily's clinic and talked to a nurse there to find out if this was normal, which it turns out it is. So, Lily is making lots of little runny poops now. And she's very self-conscious about it. She doesn't want me to see them.

I had to tell her teachers today at preschool what was going on, so they knew what to expect, and I felt bad, telling them all her business, you know? The teachers are both really sweet, kind women, so it wasn't that. It's just hard, I want to give her some privacy, but sometimes I can't.

My poor baby. And then someone said that the constipation might also be caused by emotional stuff, as in she's affected by ME being sick and in pain with my headaches. Yes, I suppose that might be true. Which makes me feel like a shit. A runny one.

So, yeah, I'm having a good day. It's hard when your kid is suffering and there's only so much you can do. Which is like, always.

Getting Ready For Easter

2011-04-23T15:33:00.000-05:00

"Mom, take a picture of me jumping!"

Fancy Purple Dress with Pink Binky

Um, yeah, that's nice. I would have preferred a smile instead of the tongue out, but, you know.

Oop, now we're out of order cuz Lily helped me select the pictures for this post. Oh well. This is later in the day when we were coloring eggs. Getting ready with the dyes. She and I painted her table a couple years ago.

Oh, what a cutie! Danciing around in her fancy dress and pink tights.

Close-up!

Just took a bath this morning, so her hair is extra shiny ("It's golden, Mom," she says) and curly.

Helping Dad get the dyes ready.

Me with my arty egg. Um, what color is it? I kept changing dyes because I couldn't make up my mind. Now it's kinda purple.

Putting dyed egg in the dryer.

Pose with the eggs, dear.

Silly smile.

After we were done with the eggs, I couldn't just toss the dyes in the sink, so we painted some paper and some paper towels. I'll get picks of those later.

Mom, I love your big butt!

2011-04-03T16:34:00.000-05:00

Well, if someone is going to tell you that you have a big butt, isn't this the best way? She also said to Dad, "Dad, I love your big silly butt." She said it in church, twice, this morning. You gotta love it!

I Want to Be a Vampire

2011-04-03T16:32:00.000-05:00

Yes, Lily said this. Why does she want to be a vampire? "Because I like to jump and fly." Okay, good. No bloodsucking involved.

Now, before you go calling child protective services, I do not take my 3-yr old to vampire movies. No, actually, the only way she knows about vampires is this book I got from the library, Dick and Jane and Vampires. I know, it sounds silly. Well, it's weird. It's the traditional Dick and Jane book, but add a vampire under the dust ruffle of the bed when Dick and Jane are playing hide and seek. And a bottle of red liquid for the vampire when the milkman comes to deliver the milk. Hmmm. I couldn't believe they had shelved it in the children's section! I think it really should be in the humor section. But it didn't scare Lily.

Technology for Lily

2011-03-11T14:48:00.003-06:00

I found this neat newsletter online called Children's Technology Review, and they have a huge database going back more than 10 years that you have access to once you subscribe, and I've found it really useful and interesting, too. We're a very tech-savvy family, and I wanted to start Lily out right with software she can learn from and have fun with, just like her parents.

After looking through the database for preschool software for the PC (you can choose these variables on the database, as well as how far back to look, and how high of a rating you want), I got Lily some new computer games. She likes Clifford the Big Red Dog, and I found there are several titles for preschoolers. I chose Clifford's Learning Activities and Thinking Adventures. You get to do things like jigsaw puzzles, matching, listening and finding things on a map ("I live in the blue house next to three apples trees"), moving a figure (dog) through a maze to collect objects, and number recognition. They've really gotten so much better at making software for kids (since I was a Big Sister and bought computer games for my Little Sister fifteen years ago). For instance, kids are not singularly focused on completing the main goal of the game: they'll go clicking on things that aren't part of the task given, just out of curiosity, and I remember my Little Sister getting really bored with games when there was no exploring built into them. Also, kids will naturally click on the same object over and over again, and I see in these Clifford games that some objects may respond the same way each time, but other objects respond differently each time you click on them.

It's hard to talk about this in the abstract, so I'll just give an example. In one of the Clifford games, there's a street scene with a pet store. In the windows of the store there are a parrot and a cat. If you click on the parrot, he answers the phone and says one of several different things, like "where are my crackers? I ordered them three weeks ago!" If you click on the cat, the same thing always happens, which is that the parrot bites his tail and he meows in protest. In another scene, there's a beach, and although your main task is to find Clifford's collar, if you click on the beach umbrella, it shoots into the air like a rocket. Now that's just fun! There's not any specific skill this teaches you, but it does reward you for curiosity, and Lily loves it that it does the same thing each time.

I also bought this really cool game called ItzaZoo, where you draw things with the mouse and the program makes them interactive. Like you draw a house for the lion, and then he goes inside it! You get challenges like drawing a door and windows for the house. I love this game because I think it encourages her to draw and be happy with what she created, instead of wanting us to draw it "the right way." Her house can be all squiggly and it's still good: the lion is happy with it! She really likes that.

So Miss Lily is pretty much a whiz with the mouse now. She can not only click, but drag and drop. Yesterday we played my Plants vs. Zombies game together, and she picked it up so fast! Then when John got home, she wanted to play it with him so she could be the teacher and show him how everything worked, like "You have to protect your sunflowers with the pea-shooters."

She just amazes me. I just don't ever get over the feeling of gratitude I have for being her Mom. I mean, like both for being a Mom, which I wanted so bad for so long, and for being HER mom, because she's so amazing and smart and funny and sweet.

And then she said

2011-03-11T14:02:00.002-06:00

"My butt didn't get enough sleep last night."

To Daddy while he was shampooing his hair: "You look like a lady."

"My foot is giving you a kiss."

"Mom, you're all mine." (accompanied by snuggle)

The Fabulous Sleepover of January 2011

2011-02-14T12:37:00.001-06:00

Lily's first sleepover went so fabulous I don't know if we'll ever be able to top it. But what a great first experience of sleepovers, and a wonderful memory to have.

Tegan and her Mom came over Saturday afternoon, after the morning swim class that both girls are in. The girls played for several hours together, had lunch, then we all went to the Maul together (Mall of America) on the train, which is really fun, especially with two curious kids. We went to a movie theatre there and while John and I had a mini-date watching True Grit (fun but not all that), the girls and Jeri Kay saw Tangled across the hall from us. They did wonderful, having a potty run right before the movie started and then both sitting in her lap a few minutes after the movie started. Jeri Kay loved snuggling the kiddos and we had a fun break watching something a little more adult than Curious George. I was going to say a little more sophisticated, but then Curious George can be pretty sophisticated in its concepts sometimes, teaching math and science.

After the movie John and I went to the newly expanded Lego store and I bought a grab bag of Legos, which I haven't played with yet. I will have to take pictures of whatever I do create when I play with them. Then I'll post them here. Or on my art blog, depending on how arty they turn out. :)

We then met the gang at Barnes and Ignoble, and spent probably close to two hours there. They have a fun kids' section with a stage and little tables to sit at. Lily was totally focused on the books, and sat looking through book after book on her own. Tegan was more into running around and having John chase her. It was great fun. We found a few books, including one called Oliver, about an elephant, written by the same author (Syd Hoff) as did Sammy the Seal and Danny and the Dinosaur, which I still have from when I was a kid (big kudos to Mom and Dad for saving all our books!). I was so excited to find a book by this favorite author that we hadn't read yet. You can never have too many books.

Then we went home on the train and sang to keep warm on our walk back to the house (it's about four blocks). Tegan rode on Jeri Kay's shoulders and Lily rode on John's, while I held the bags of our new books.

When we got home, I suggested the girls might want to take a bath to warm up.

They thought was a fun idea. And I think it softened them up a little for bedtime, which was easy peasy. Although we had gotten Lily a sleeping bag for the sleepover, she slept with us and Tegan slept with her Mom, so I think it will probably be a while yet before we have the all-night giggle fest type of sleepover.

The next morning, John made us a breakfast of pancakes and fakon (meatless bacon), and the girls dressed for church in Lily's tights and dresses. I love that they can wear each other's clothes. And aren't the tights fun?

At church, they were very good during Mass. In fact, they were adorable.

I snuck this shot with my flash off so I wouldn't disturb anyone.

After Mass, Jeri Kay took us to lunch at Pizza Luce, which was delicious. They have a gluten-free menu!! The potato pizza is really yummers.

They had temporary tattoos, so Lily and Tegan and I all put one on.

And that was about it. We parted ways after lunch and went home for a nap. More than 24 hours together, and it was all fun and games (contrary to that saying, you know, "it's not all fun and games."). Not one fight, no meltdowns. Good sharing. Happy playing. Sweetness. I am going to remember this sleepover for a long, long time. Forever. And I'll tell Lily the story of her first sleepover again and again.

Painting Pals

2011-02-14T12:03:00.000-06:00

A couple weeks ago, Tegan came over and the girls decided to paint together. Sometimes they painted on the same page, even. Lily is wearing a paint shirt (one of Dad's old t-shirts) and yet she still managed to get paint on her feet, the floor, and the couch. Funny monkey. It's okay.

On a Sweeter Note

2011-02-14T11:59:00.000-06:00

Here's my sweetie playing being a bear. Rawr!

I wish I could record her every word sometimes. Last night she said to me: "Mom, I need that chair [the one I was sitting in] because I need to sit down because my butt is tired from standing." Hee hee.

I Hate Valentine's Day

2011-02-14T10:39:00.000-06:00

Not because it's a Hallmark holiday, I'm fine with that. I love chocolate and cards and flowers. But it's just a bad time for me. We lost our first baby to a miscarraige on Feb. 17, 2003. Seven years ago, and every year I get weepy and emotional around this time. Everything that's happening now gets blown out of proportion.

This morning I had Lily all ready for school, and I went to get her jacket and came back and she was standing in the kitchen watching the floor, as she proceeded to pee through her clothes, including her one pair of snow pants that she needs to play outside at school.

I got really mad and then she started crying and I felt terrible. I almost started crying while I was driving her to school. And I'm thinking "What is wrong with me?" Then I realized, oh yeah, it's Miranda. That's the name of our baby who died.

I just can't control it. Even if I'm not thinking about it, in fact, usually when I'm not thinking about it, it's like my body reacts and pulls me down into sadness.

It doesn't help that it's the icky part of winter when I'm suddenly getting really sick of it.

On Valentine's Day 2003 or thereabouts, we went to a fantastic, funny play and I felt so happy and light. Then a couple days later the world came crashing down. So excuse me if I hate Valentine's Day as a reminder of loss, a reminder of how fragile happiness can be.

Maybe I'll be able to reframe it as Lily gets older and we do fun things together for Valentine's Day. This is really the first year she's been aware of it, and both John and I got her cards, and she's exchanging Valentines in school today. I just hope I didn't ruin her day with my anger over the pee on the floor. Probably not. She's more resilient than I am.

Building

2011-01-09T01:06:00.000-06:00

Here's Lily with a new toy from uncle Steve, a magnet set that you build stuff with . Lily built a pizza and offered everyone a slice.

Lily the Chef

2011-01-09T01:01:00.000-06:00

Oh so cute! Sue the fabulous godmother got Lily this chef set for Christmas. It's just the right size and she loves it! She's already been cooking with Daddy while wearing the apron.

Love

2011-01-08T16:25:00.000-06:00

While snuggling last night with Lily after her afternoon nap, I was treated to this gem:

"Mom, I have all of my heart in your heart, because I love you."

Wow. Life is grand. Being a Mommy is gooooooood.

Pink and Purple Foxes

2010-11-22T21:59:00.001-06:00

Lately we've started telling stories to each other. It started one day when Lily was playing with a little Xmas ornament I made that looks like a book but folds out into a 3-dimensional star. She said there were stories in it and I should read them to her. So I started making up stories and she loved it!

I suddenly felt like a real writer. I have those moments, when I finish a piece of writing I am really proud of, and I feel like my membership has been renewed in the club of writers. But this was even better. I was improvising, just winging it. Like a musician jamming. Which I never ever did when I was a percussionist (drummer). I just wasn't capable of it. But here I was, making up a story about Lily and how she went for a walk in the woods and met a bunny and a doggie and they had many adventures. And, OMG, the look of utter delight on her face! Her whole body perked up, like a flower opening in sunlight.

And then she started breaking in and telling me what happened next! I love it! She's really got a good imagination. I guess I'm not rotting her brain with an hour of PBS a day...Today she told me a story about her and her 3 foxes, a purple boy fox named Beejee, who wears a pink collar, a pink girl fox named Ada, who wears a purple collar, and a Grandpa fox who is red, named Lightning McQueen. The foxes live in a cave in the woods. They eat dogs and baby foxes and leaves and acorns. (Hey, nature is not pretty.) It was amazing.

She also has two dogs in her adventures, one named Froujou and one named Vegetable.

Oh my God, I just love this stuff. Three is an amazing age. She is an amazing child.

Trick-or-Treat Time

2010-10-31T20:25:00.001-05:00

Ready to go trick-or-treatin'

See, there's our pumpkins (and our cool Snoopy flag)

Here's our windows. Lily picked the Mickey Mouse decoration out at the store, and the bright orange one below that is fake, but the "Oh"-faced pumpkin is mine. In the next window, you can see the monkey-faced pumpkin with the big mouth and little eyes, and next to it is a plastic one that has clown hair, which you can't see very well here. But imagine it's funny.

Here's the third pumpkin, Lily's scary face one. And next to it, an open flame. We like to have fires burning in the house...okay, it's a fake flame in a witchy cauldron. But it looks pretty real!

Happy Halloween!

2010-10-31T20:14:00.000-05:00

Space Ghost, Puppy, and Pirate! This is from a week ago, when we went to a Halloween game party. Lily won first prize in her age group, a jar of homemade pear raspberry jam. I won in my category, too! I got a jar of brandied pears, yum! And even better, the adulation of everyone there (the judging was by clapping).

Dad and Lily carving pumpkins today.

Working on the monkey-face pumpkin.

The Persistence of Ice Packs

2010-10-31T15:33:00.000-05:00

I use them almost every day on my head. And Lily notices. Sometimes she even gets one for me. Last night I was lying on the couch with one and she was playing with John, when he put a pillow they were playing with on his forehead.

"No, that's not like a ice pack!" Lily said to him, indignantly.

We both burst out laughing, to which she said, "No! Don't laugh! It's not funny, it's sad!"

Which only made us laugh harder. She finally started laughing with us, because she likes to laugh, but boy, was she ever adamant in her views. Funny and sad are the most popular emotions with her right now. Of course, she is mad a lot as well, but she mostly notices mad only when we are mad at her.

We think she might be going through a growth spurt latley, as she has been Miss CrankyPants at a moment's notice, and cries a lot when she doesn't get her way. It seems to come out of nowhere most of the time, like you put her blanket on wrong, and in the past when she's been like this, it's been a growth spurt. Of course, you don't really know if it's a brain spurt or a body spurt, but they both seem to have the same effect.

Logic?

2010-10-29T13:31:00.002-05:00

"I'm squeezing my neck so I can burp."

Ah. Of course you are.

Channeling Bob Fosse?

2010-10-28T16:01:00.000-05:00

Okay, I know it's been forever since I posted here. And I need to catch up with pictures, yadda yadda. How about not? How about if I just start from where I am? Yeah, let's.

So, Lily's favorite thing to say lately, for no apparent reason is, "Then four, then five, then six, then seven..." It's so cute, it's like she's dancing, or directing someone dancing. She does like to dance, and to do this one pose where she's leaning over with her hands on the floor, and one leg up in the air. "Look what I can do!" she'll say.

She's really enjoying preschool and seems to be making friends. She's starting to remember the other kids' names. She goes twice a week in the morning from 9-1:30pm.

Tonight her preschool is doing a "Lantern Walk" around the lake that's by the school. Each child made a lantern out of paper mache and a long tree branch. They're really beautiful, and she's very proud of hers. I'm impressed! John will be going to the event with her but I won't. Mommy guilt!!! But I needed a book club, and the one I joined just happens to meet tonight, so I'll miss a school event! Oh, the horror! But I NEED it. It's hard to balance Lily's needs with mine.

Playin' Toys

2010-08-12T10:23:00.002-05:00

Rockin' with the chick. And he has party beads on, too!
OK, that was a funny face, now how about a smile?

Am I not devilishly cute?

The Whole Thing

2010-08-04T01:55:00.003-05:00

Yesterday, as Lily was lying on top of me, my arms wrapped around her holding her as she was squirming to get comfortable, getting ready to nap, she suddenly held up her head, looked at me, and said, very seriously, "Mom? I'm dreaming about my WHOLE life!"

In the Family

2010-08-04T01:44:00.004-05:00

Nora, the young woman who comes to care for Lily a couple afternoons a week, and has been doing so for more than two years now, is going away to college in a couple weeks. Nora is like a part of our family now, and it's going to be so hard to see her go. She'll be back on holidays and I know she'll want to sit for Lily then, and not just because she'll need the money! Still, I know it's going to be a huge adjustment.

Enter Martin: her brother! He came over today with Nora for the first time, after Nora and her parents convinced him to meet Lily and see that she was a wonderful child, not at all like the terror he babysat a few years ago who soured him on being a sitter for small children.

Well, of course he loved her immediately. At least that's how I saw it. I mean, who wouldn't? When I asked him how he thought it went at the end of the afternoon, he said it went well and that he "actually had fun." He seemed pleasantly surprised. Hooray! And Lily had great fun with him. Oh, yeah, and of course I liked him. He seems like a sweetheart. And Cocoa likes him, too.

I am so happy this is working out. Nora and family just moved, so now they only live 4 blocks away. Perfect! He doesn't even have to worry about transportation, he can walk if he wants/has to.

I found Nora because she is the daughter of one of my art friends, and I really love their family. So I'm very pleased that we're sort of keeping it in the family even though Nora is leaving. And this will keep us closer to Nora, too, even when she's away.

I feel very blessed right now.

Potty Trained!!

2010-08-04T01:24:00.002-05:00

YES! Except for overnight, Lily has been using the potty since the day after T. came over to play last week. T. is already potty trained and I think it had some effect on Lily somehow, making her finally decide that she was going to use the potty instead of the diaper. Let the angels sing!

And she doesn't even need us to ask her if she has to go, and we don't have to do the Nazi potty thing, where you take the child to the potty and make them sit on it every half hour for three days and then they're supposedly trained. Nope. I never wanted to do that anyway. When I heard that as a potty training method, I was like, "You're kidding." I always wanted to just show her how to do it and then let her decide when she was ready. And darnit, it worked! She just suddenly was ready. She knows when she has to go, and tells us. If I ask her if she has to go, she'll say, "Don't ask me that, Mom." And she's doing poop in the potty just as easily as pee. It's glorious.

And she's very proud of herself, which I love. If she goes by herself, then when she's done, she'll call me up to see, and she'll be holding the potty with her pee and poo in it to show me.

She has no problems with naps, either. Still not quite there with overnight, but that will come.

We're ready to move the changing table out of her room NOW! Hey, we need another bookcase (or two, or three) for all the books we get her, I'm proud to say. John just got a good haul of probably 20 books at a garage sale from a Montessori school, and I get her books every time I go to the thrift store.

I still remember that crazy mom in the ECFE class I hated, saying that yes, you could have too many books. She said it so authoritatively and condenscendingly. Well poop on that! You can not have too many books, especially for a child. Lily is excited about books, loves to read them, and is already sitting by herself sometimes looking at her books. That makes me so happy to see that.

So, next step: wiping. Yeah, too bad that isn't as straightforward as sitting on the potty. The whole wiping front to back thing is going to take quite a while, I think. That's okay. Being out of diapers is a huge step.

The Last Poop

2010-07-22T22:42:00.003-05:00

Oh, what a fiasco! The poop sampling, I mean. The last one was just a keystone cops of poop, I tell you.

First, I had "help." From Lily, that is. Somehow I'd managed the other samples while she was busy with Daddy or out of the house. Not this time. And was she ever curious. "Let me see your poop!" Well, what are you gonna say? I mean, I see her poop all the time. And she's proud of it, lately, because she's pooping in her little potty. She'll close the door and you have to wait outside, then she'll bring her potty to you--"Look at the poop I made!" It seemed cruel to tell her that adults really don't get that excited about poop.

Second, I'm valiantly attempting not to thwart my child's curiosity, or warp her idea of poop, when I hear the little hat fall into the toilet. You know what I mean, right? The little hat they give you to go into that hangs under the toilet seat but over the water? Yeah, well, it fell in. Super. So I'm trying to retreive it without it falling all the way in and submerging, rendering my sample inadmissible. I manage to save some of it, so I set it aside.

Third. I flush the rest of the crap, and the toilet overflows. Son of a ! The water is rising and I'm trying frantically to shut off the valve and I can't remember which way to turn the knob! I know it's righty tighty, lefty loosy, but is it righty offy, lefty onny, or vice versa?! I somehow manage to cut it off before it gets to the top. I get the plunger, which turns out to be a floppy piece of crap that turns inside out with each push, and Lily is meanwhile asking what I'm doing and why, and my patience is being severely tested. Then I hear Nora arrive downstairs. Oh, joy, let's have a poop party where everyone in the neighborhood gets to see Mommy's poop!! I send Lily downstairs to intercept Nora, but of course Lily brings her upstairs to see this fascinating event!

I tell her "You don't want to come in here" and leave it at that, and luckily she is able to get Lily to go downstairs to play, instead of staying to watch Mommy play with her poop.

Stool Sample

2010-07-17T02:19:00.003-05:00

This is the most disgusting thing I've ever had to do. And here's the thing: it's not Lily's poop I have to collect. If it was, I wouldn't blink. It would be fine. But it's mine! And that grosses me out in a way that would never gross me out if it was Lily's. And that has really made me think. I mean, what the heck? Shouldn't it be easier to do mine? No, it isn't. I am intimate with my child's bodily machinations and products in a way that I'm really not with my own. Do I know her body better than my own? Is that strange?

I have some kind of something going on in my gastro thingies. Every time I eat I get horrible stomach cramps and then gas. It's awful. It started over the weekend of July 4th and I had diarrhea and I thought I was gonna die from the cramping. Then the nausea. I ended up going into the ER on the 4th, after not eating for 2 days and getting no sleep for that time either. It was crazy! They couldn't figure it out. I had to have morphine to calm me down from the pain so I could finally rest.

Lily and John went up on the roof of the parking structure at the hospital to see the fireworks while Mommy got her morphine. Hey, we know how to make the best of a bad situation. And she was so good.

So this stool sample thing. I went to the doctor today because after two weeks, I'm still having these cramps and gas, and they wanted all my bodily fluids. I had to take Lily in the bathroom with me to do the pee sample, and I swear, I wouldn't be surprised if she becomes a doctor. She's getting very comfortable with how bodies work. She doesn't flinch when they take her blood at the doctor's, and she was fascinated watching me get my blood taken. She doesn't want to poop in her potty yet (just pee), but she'll tell you she's hiding now (really she's just standing in one spot) because she's making a poop.

The nurse gave me the stool sample pack, and explained how to use the little hat that you put in the toilet to catch your poop. Oh, but there's more. I think it used to be that you just put your poop in a jar or something and brought it in. Not anymore! Now, to save costs, you get to be a lab tech at home! There's two vials of chemicals for each poop you collect, and you gotta scoop it in up to a line on the bottle, then MIX it with the built-in spoon on the lid (kind of like the bubbles you buy at the store, with the bubble wand built in to the lid!), and finally, shake it like some obscene cocktail.

Eeeech!! I am not sharing this process with Lily, lest you worry. Why the hell am I sharing it with you? Well, it's just so gross I had to tell somebody. I mean, I have to mix my poop?? If I wasn't nauseated already, I would be from doing this. It just feels wrong, somehow. Like I should be hiding it. If it was my job to mix poop, that would be different.

Anyway, I just couldn't help but notice how different it was for me to deal with my own poop in contrast to Lily's poop. Mine felt dirtier. Why?

Okay, hopefully you aren't all thinking I'm a crazy person. I am sick right now, so that should count for something. When you're sick with some mystery crap (in this case, literally), you get tired of having to do all these weird tests.

Girl in Raspberry Forest

2010-07-17T01:56:00.002-05:00

Here's Lily picking raspberries in our backyard. The branches are 6 feet tall.

Wheels!

2010-07-14T21:46:00.004-05:00

Here's our little driver on a weekend morning. Cycling in her jammies! She doesn't mind wearing the helmet, either, which is nice. Probably because she's used to it from riding with it when she rides with Daddy.

She's getting to where she'll ride it to the park, about 4 blocks. It makes her feel really good, and it's fun to see her pedaling really hard to get over the bumps, and just go fast. Of course, pedaling home is excruciatingly slow, as you might expect. It makes Mommy and Daddy a little crazy. Especially when she poops out and you have to carry her AND the tricycle. But still.

"said a little voice"

2010-07-14T21:21:00.002-05:00

When Lily was playing with her cars today, one car was looking for another one, and she sort of narrated the missing car's dialogue. She said:

" 'I'm in here,' said a little voice."

It was so funny, both John and I were laughing. And hey, that's some complex thinking. My smartie.

We went to the Maul of 'Merica today cuz it was too dang hot to be outside and besides, I wanted to get her some Lego duplos (the toddler size Legos). She found a set that had vehicles from her favorite movie, Cars, and we've been playing with it for hours now at home tonight. It was a $50 set, but I don't get that many new toys (most come from the thrift store) so I figured I'd splurge. She loooooooooooves this set, so I'm happy.

I have been really sick lately so haven't been posting much. It's hard when I feel too crappy to play, so I'm super happy when I feel good and can play with her.

We went to the Nickelodeon Universe amusement park in the middle of the Maul and went on some rides. We're not into Nick so we don't know all the characters and I resent them because they replaced Camp Snoopy. I mean, The Kite-Eating Tree will always be The Kite-Eating Tree. I don't care if they paint it to be the Backyardigans Swing-Along. It's still The Kite-Eating Tree. So there.

But we had fun on the rides. Lily is just a smidge away (okay, an inch) from the first big cutoff for rides at 39". So we went on the Merry-Go-Round, a pint-sized roller coaster, a car on a crazy track that whipped us around the corners, a nice train that didn't do anything crazy, and this funny little bus that goes up and down on a big hydraulic lift. Lily had fun, and I had a lot of fun, too. I was screaming just to be silly, and then on the bus ride, when it stops at the top before changing direction, I was like "Oh no, we're stuck!" and the kids in front of me turned around and looked very worried for a second or two. It's fun to ham it up when you're a Mom. Kids are not the only ones who can ham it up!

It's probably a good thing we couldn't go on any big rides yet, I'd probably yak and that would be the end of our fun.

Spooky

2010-06-27T17:36:00.002-05:00

The other day we were all in the park, playing and walking around through the trees. Lily was standing next to me and J. had gone to get something. Lily, tapping her finger to her lips, said, "I'm trying to think of something." Then she looked over at J. walking towards us, and said, "I wish Dad could use his wings to fly."

Poetry. It's beautiful, listening to her put words together to make fascinating sentences. And yet, it also spooked me a bit. It's probably just me being superstitious, but I felt like she was talking about J. like he was an angel, like, as in, dead. Eek! It gave me a little shiver.

A Poke in the Eye With a Stick

2010-06-05T02:27:00.003-05:00

Yes, that actually is what happened today. Lily was playing with another girl from her ECFE class at a picnic after our last session for this class, and the girl took a stick from Lily's hand and stuck it in her face and before I could jump in to stop her, she had poked Lily in the eye.

Her eye looked fine but she was covering it right afterwards and then a few minutes later she was rubbing it, so I took her in to the ER at Children's Hospital just to be safe. I have scratched my cornea before and it was very painful.

Luckily Lily was excited to go see her doctor. I was very calm and told her we were just going to go see the doctor to make sure her eye was okay, and I tried to make it a normal event, instead of a panicked one.

They checked both eyes, since I told them that she had gotten sand in her eyes a little while before the stick incident, and she was soooooo good letting three different docs and nurses look in her eye with a flashlight. She held still and did exactly what they asked her to do (look up, look down, look to the side), and didn't flinch when they put dye drops in her eyes to do the CSI light to look for scratches. I really don't think she was afraid at all.

So they found two scratches, one of which was about a 1/4 inch long, in her left eye. Hmmph. She doesn't have to be a pirate, but we have to put drops in her eye 4 times a day for 5 days. They hurt a bit when they first go in, so I'm sure she'll get sick of it. But I think we'll manage ok. The drops are to prevent infection while the eye heals, and the doc said these things usually heal pretty quickly. Phew.

The funny thing is, I felt bad for K.'s Mom. She was very concerned and got K. to apologize and explained to her how dangerous it was to poke people, etc., and she asked me several times if Lily was okay. I was of course concerned about Lily, but I didn't want to worry K.'s Mom. Isn't that odd? I just wanted to leave so I could get Lily in the car and then sit in the car and quietly call a triage nurse to ask if I should go to the ER. Which is exactly what I did.

Oh what a long day. I need to finish this tomorrow, but meanwhile I think Lily is okay.

Lookit ma belly!

2010-06-02T22:16:00.002-05:00

And...action!

The Magic Word

2010-06-02T22:11:00.002-05:00

Last night John was playing with Lily and one of her toys fell on the floor. She demanded he get it and in an effort to encourage manners (she's knows she is supposed to ask nicely and say "please"), he said, "What's the magic word?" With great confidence, she spoke up immediately: "Hocus Pocus!"

Oh my God, I laughed so hard! We had watched a Mickey Mouse Clubhouse edisode that afternoon in which Goofy is being a magician and he keeps forgetting the magic words. Well, Lily remembered!

Dahlink

2010-06-02T21:17:00.002-05:00

Oh, she's just so cute! I think she was blowing spit bubbles here. She's standing on the swing in our front porch this morning, and we've taken a short break from making the cars and trains talk. Later they had a party with a piece of playdough cake that we made. Delish!

Mi Amigo

2010-05-31T22:24:00.003-05:00

Lily is doing the talking for her toys more and more now, instead of asking Mommy or Daddy to always do it. And the talking toys are very polite. Cars will say to each other,

"What are you doing, my friend?"
"Come with me over here, my friend."
"Let's hide, my friend."

It's so cute, not just how they are all friends with each other, but how she has them address each other so sweetly like this. I almost wish our culture had this kind of polite address, the way more formal cultures do like in Mexico or Japan.

Goodnight, my friends. :)

Make it Talk!

2010-05-31T22:10:00.003-05:00

Lily is going through a talking phase right now. Not that she's going to stop talking, but I mean all her toys are talking. And Mommy and Daddy have to make them talk. "Make it talk!" she'll insist. The cars and trains talk a lot. And now it's expanded to EVERYTHING. Not just the toys talk. Her tummy talks a lot:

"My tummy is saying 'I want a cookie!'"
"My tummy is saying 'Let's go to school!'"
"My tummy is saying 'I don't want a nap!'"

Her tummy talks about all sorts of things, the least of which might be food. And then she'll tell us to make her body parts talk. "Make it talk," she'll say, holding up a foot. But that's not all. When I give her two shirts to choose from, I have to shake them and make them say "Pick me! Pick me!" She loves that. The other day I was asked to make her bite of oatmeal talk. Of course, it said, "Eat me! Eat me!" It was like I was in Alice in Wonderland.

Butties

2010-05-22T23:26:00.001-05:00

Lily was getting her diaper changed the other day and John said she was talking about her bottom, and called her two butt cheeks her "butties." I love these words she makes up.

Nice Kitty

2010-05-17T23:44:00.002-05:00

Here's another great picture from the Zoo trip. It's a leopard. And it's...so close! No glass, just fences. And look at how gorgeous this cat is, that wonderfully long tail, and the regal stature. Wow. Lily was somewhat impressed.

"My Bed Needs Me!"

2010-05-17T23:20:00.002-05:00

Lily likes to delay going to sleep at night by switching back and forth between "Baby's bed" and "Daddy's bed" (it's Daddy's because most of the time lately I'm sleeping downstairs on the couch with a headache). And there's a point where we say NO MORE SWITCHING.

So the other day Lily was going through this routine at naptime, and I told her that was it, she was stuck with Daddy's bed. She tried to wriggle away and I put my arm around her and tried to hold her. She was protesting loudly when she came up with her latest plea for pushing the rules: "My bed needs me!" I laughed so hard that I couldn't hold her, then she was laughing and her fit was over.

She did win. We went to Baby's bed. But she did go to sleep.

Lily at the Zoo

2010-05-11T00:47:00.002-05:00

Lily sittin' on a tiger statue. We saw two tigers, walking around. It was wonderful weather that day, sunny and about 60 degrees. Although some animals were sleeping, a lot were active.

Here's Lily and a soft-shell turtle looking at each other. This turtle was really fun to watch. He hides under the sand and all you see is either his head or his tiny snout. Then when he comes out, it's like he appears out of nowhere. We got to see him come out and then bury himself again after swimming around. He was fascinating, and Lily enjoyed watching him. When the turtle looked at her, she said, "He likes me." I love it when she says that. It's so life-affirming, and it shows a confidence in herself that makes me happy.

Here's Lily looking into an exhibit with little turtles. I love how they made this rope mesh down low where the little kids could look through safely without having to be held up by a parent to see. This zoo is the best designed one I've seen for being inclusive of little kids.

Humper-Lumpers!

2010-05-11T00:38:00.002-05:00

For Mother's Day, I decided I wanted to do something to celebrate being a Mom, to go have fun with my family. So we went to the Minnesota Zoo. We hadn't been there before, and it was fabulous, so much so that we bought a membership before we left.

Lily had a wonderful time, and I just drank it in, watching her having so much fun. She didn't really get bored for very long when we were moving from exhibit to exhibit, because they have so many play areas and little tunnels and caves and viewing spots that only little kids can get into. She was having such a good time that she started making up words and just playing with language. She was learning a lot of new words, like wolverine and lynx and takin, and although she already knew what a camel was, when we saw them, she happily renamed them: "They're humper-lumpers!" she said.

It was a highlight of the day. We love it when she makes up words, and this one's a keeper.

People Who Don't Have Kids

2010-05-07T19:04:00.003-05:00

Argh! I am feeling pissy because of one of the above mentioned people. And plus I have a migraine. BUT! This in no way means that this person is not deserving of my mommy wrath.

I went to the post office, my little local neighborhood post office that my friend S. is always telling me is so great and they're nice to her and interested when she brings in mail gong interesting places and...they are never nice to me! I hate it. I am always nice, never in a hurry (which is good, since they seem to move like molasses), and yet.

So today I come in with Lily and while I'm getting postage on a couple things going to Japan, Lily finds a Mickey Mouse and Pluto mailer behind me on the wall, and brings it over to show me. Fine, nice. Then she brings an armful. Shit. So we bring them back to hang back up on the wall, only all the holes to hang them by are ripped. So I set them on the floor against the wall. Meanwhile the woman at the counter is saying, "Yeah, can you not have him do that [strike 1, you called my daughter a boy, although I don't know why this pisses me off so much, it just does]." Thanks for the suggestion. Then she wants me to hang them back up. I tell her I can't, that the holes are ripped. "Well, then he did it, because I just hung those up this morning." Super. So I ask, "Well, do I need to buy them?" I'm willing to do this if it's necessary. I take responsibility for my kid. "No," she grumbles. And can hardly talk to me in a civil manner the rest of the transaction.

Well, pissy pissy piss. While she was telling me to keep "him" from pulling down the envies from the wall, she says that the kids tend to rip the holes they hang by when they pull them down. Well, so, it's happened before. So maybe you should NOT hang them down there, huh? Did that ever fuckin' occur to ya? I mean, c'mon, it's low hanging fruit, and it's got fuckin' Disney characters on it! It's 2 feet off the floor. Of course the little kids are going to pull it down! Duh!

I was just fuming when I left, and had to consciously slow down, so I wouldn't take it out on Lily, who really had committed a minor infraction. It's not like they can't sell the stupid mailers now. They just can't hang them up on the wall. Well, cry me a river, lady. Get a plastic holder for them and hang that on the wall, like the other mailers. I know she probably talked about me after I left. Like I was such a bad mother. Meanwhile, I'm out in the rain, trying to strap HER into the car seat, and we're parked on the street and it's raining hard and the cars are zooming by and splashing me and Lily wants to play pretend driver. I'm patiently explaining that this is not a good time to play pretend driver.

I wish I had a nice post office to go to. And that people weren't such idiots. Wow, am I ever crabby.

"Can I Fit Through This Butthole?"

2010-05-04T00:46:00.003-05:00

I thought that's what she said, but I thought I must be hearing her wrong, so I asked her "What did you say?" about three times. I didn't really want to repeat what I thought I heard and have her decide that although that's not what she said, my version was more fun.

But I finally had to say it, and sure enough, that's what she said. "What do you mean?" I asked, making an effort to control my face muscles so that I would not look horrified. Then she showed me.

We were sitting at the table and she was on a chair with a back that was open on the bottom half. She was on her knees on the chair, and wanted to know if I thought she could climb through the back, or butt hole. Phew! It's a pretty apt description, really. i mean, if someone is sitting in the chair, what do you see if you look through the back of the chair? A butt.

Sure enough, she fit through the butt hole.

(p.s. Think I could get Reader's Digest to pay me for this funny story? Heh.)

Hoppy Oppy Boppy!

2010-04-06T15:44:00.002-05:00

That is one of Lily's favorite sound combinations right now. She's a singin' toddler. She loves to sing right now, and she'll make something up, just a couple words or even nonsense words like her favorites, and she'll say, "That's my best song." John told me she was singing to one of her stuffed animals and told it "I'm singing you my best song."

I love this marvelous, simple joy. She'll ask us to sing with her sometimes, and when I do, I realize and remember the joy of just making something up to sing (I was a notorious late-night singer, according to my older sister whose bedroom was next to mine) and it didn't have to be complicated or make sense or mean anything, it just had to please me with its sounds.

It also reminds me of one of the Basilica's mottoes, "Make a joyful noise unto the Lord." I know it's called something else besides a motto, but it comes up all the time in bulletins, reminding people why we sing so much in church.

We take Lily to Mass almost every Sunday, and she likes it. She's usually interested in the music, and I think she enjoys seeing (and hearing) Mommy and Daddy sing. I mean, we sing to her all the time, but then she sees us singing at church and it just reinforces how it's a normal, joyful part of our lives, to sing. It's one of the main reasons I love church so much--the singing. And why I love this particular church. We'll sing a lot of things that other churches would just say, and I think it's so much more beautiful to sing it.

Lily's joyful little snippets sometime reminds me of these short bits that we sing in Mass, like we'll sing after each petition, "Lord hear our prayer" or "Thanks be to God" (sometimes in Latin) after each reading. Lily sings "Cocoa's happy" and "And Mommy and Daddy and Baby and Cocoa."

Sweetness

2010-03-12T00:25:00.004-06:00

Yesterday I had to go to the hospital for an infusion because my migraine was so bad. So John had to come home early from work to take me in and to take care of Lily. When he got home he showed Lily what he'd brought from the company store: cake mix, "so we can bake Mommy a get well cake!" Chocolate GF (gluten-free) cake, plus he'd picked out special frosting that Lily would like--whipped pink.

It was such a sweet thought, literally and figuratively, and Lily enjoyed helping, and they even put candles on it for me to blow out. Lily kept saying, "It could be Mommy's birthday," so John sang "Happy Get Well To You." Lily helped me blow out the candles and we all had a piece.

That's my family, God love 'em.

Laughter

2010-03-12T00:09:00.003-06:00

Rough day today for me. Very nauseated and big headache. But Lily made it bearable. Tonight she made John and I laugh so hard. It was almost bedtime and so John was reading her a book (we always read three books before naptime and then before bedtime), and he kept dozing off as he was reading.

I've done it before, too. You are trying so hard to keep reading that your brain will make up stuff that isn't there while your eyes are crossing and your speech is slurring. I was reading The Cat in the Hat yesterday and dozing off at the part where the house is all messy before the cat starts cleaning it, and I heard myself explain to Lily that "this is the part the garbage man says." Then some more awake part of my brain said, "What the hell are you talking about?!" And I woke back up and read a few more pages.

So John was reading and he'd already dozed off a few times and I kept saying, "Hey! Wake up!" Finally one time he was totally incomprehensible reading, and Lily said, very clearly and patiently, "What are you trying to say?" It woke him up and he answered her, laughing, saying, "I have no idea!" We were both laughing so hard that it made her laugh. It was so funny, because that's what we say to her when we can't quite understand what she's saying. So then she turns around and says it to us. I guess you could call that a good parenting moment. It was wonderful.

I love this cookie!

2010-03-12T00:04:00.001-06:00

Especially the black frosting. This was at a General Mills family event celebrating winter. I guess they thought it would be funny to have snowman cookies with black frosting, for the hat and lining the edges. I mean, there's no way a kid could not get black frosting all over their face! Hee hee.

Some Great New Children's Books

2010-03-09T00:15:00.002-06:00

Every few months I try to grab a few recent Horn Book issues from the library and scan the reviews and ads for new children's books that look fun. Then I get online and reserve a bunch of titles from my local library, which is now a huge conglomeration of Hennepin County library and the Minneapolis libraries. So I can usually find anything I want, I just have to wait for it to get to my branch where I pick up my reserves. It's quite satisfying, a definite improvement over ye olden days when you had to go ask the librarian in person for every book you wanted.

So here's what I've gotten lately that I like:

Mermaid Queen by Shana Corey
This big picture book biography is gorgeous and fascinating. It's a bit too texty for Lily right now, but I mostly got it for me to read anyway. It's the story of Annette Kellerman, the real-life inspiration for Esther Williams. I always thought Esther Williams was, well, a mermaid queen herself. Who knew there was an even more interesting real-life woman who was a real queen of the water?

Annette Kellerman was a sort of swimsuit suffragette for women, rebelling against the ridiculously uncomfortable swimwear of her time (the early 1900s). This was no small feat. The first time she swam in public in America (she grew up in Australia and England), she was arrested for her shockingly revealing swimwear (while the other women on the beach sweated it out under their parasols on the hot sand, too poofy and heavy to actually go into the water)! Celebrating swimming as both an athletic and artistic pursuit, she paved the way for female athletes all over the world.

The artwork is--dare I say it?--splashy. And I mean that in the best way possible. It's appropriate for the subject matter, and the bold color palette of artist Edwin Fotheringham is delicious to behold. Not only is water illustrated with curving, swlirling shapes, but everything from the sound of music to the night sky seems to take on the joyful shapes of water as well.

The Fantastic Undersea Life of Jacques Cousteau by Dan Yaccarino
Yes, another book about humans in the water. A large part of my childhood was spent in the water, and I miss it! I want to go back to the beaches of my youth. And the swimming pools. Especially the backyard swimming pools. But I digress.

Cousteau was kind of a skinny little runt, so his doctors suggested he build up his strength by swimming. Then when he was a young man, he got in a bad car accident and had to wear braces on his arms. His fate was sealed soon after this, but not by his injury. He built strength in his arms by going back to the sea and swimming. Then a friend lent him some goggles and he suddenly saw all the fishies in the sea underneath him.

Yaccarino does the artwork as well as the story, and it's wonderful to see how he transforms Cousteau's scrawniness on land to lithe grace underwater. In one layout, Cousteau's swimming form parallels the shape of an octopus swimming above him. The colors are bright and many-layered, like the rich palette of undersea life Cousteau is exploring.

Like Mermaid Queen Annette Kellerman, Jacques Cousteau was a pioneer in his field. Today we take scuba suits for granted, but the diving suit of Cousteau's day was like an iron spacesuit. Cousteau worked with engineers to invent diving equipment that allowed him and his team to swim like fish. Likewise underwater camera equipment.

The Undersea World of Jacques Cousteau (of which I have fond memories) ran for ten years on television, and served as Cousteau's platform to both entertain and educate the world about the vast array of life in our oceans that needed our protection. Yaccarino does a nice job of portraying Cousteau as a man who wanted to share his joy and passion, in contrast to a celebrity with a cause-of-the-week.

This is a fabulous book. I'm going to buy a copy to keep for Lily (and me), because I think it works on so many levels. The artwork is so good that it can be explored on its own, and the story is appealing in a classic way, like a rags to riches tale, where the rags are Cousteau's physical limitations and the riches are his exploration of the undersea world--and most importantly, the joy this brings him!

And that concludes today's book reviews. Hope you enjoyed them! Oh, and if you don't get the Horn Book at your library or you aren't familiar with this bible of children's book reviews, you can always look at a few pages of reviews of the current issue online. Here's a sample.

Non-Verbal Communication

2010-03-09T00:10:00.001-06:00

This is from Christmas, obviously. I just love the look she's giving me.

Lily petting a horsey

2010-02-28T19:48:00.004-06:00

This was at Gale Woods Farm, where we went last weekend for a horse-drawn sleigh ride and other fun activities. Lily was not intimidated by the size of the horses and wanted to pet them.

Seeing how calm she was with them actually made me feel more comfortable with them! This really surprised me. Even though we had horses when I was a kid, I was always wary of them and still am, but this time when I pet this horse, I relaxed and just gave him my full attention. When I put my hand on his head I just felt him, really felt his warmth and his spirit. It felt very different than any previous experience I've had around horses. I still sometimes have dreams of getting stepped on or nipped by a horse.

I love how Lily changes my perspective on things. I see her wonder and her courage in reaching out to a world that is all new, and it inspires me.

Mass Happiness

2010-02-28T16:58:00.002-06:00

Today I went to Mass with John and Lily, and said a prayer to St. Anthony (we have a side altar for him) about my headaches. As it seems either a lost cause, or the lost thing I can't find is my health, he seemed like the go-to saint. I felt both serious and slightly cheeky about it, which seemed right. Gotta keep that sense of humour. And wonder.

Lily was slightly more than average on the squirm-o-meter, and very talkative. As we walked in, a woman in choir robes stopped mid-sentence talking to someone and said, looking at Lily, "Oh, there's the little girl." When I looked at her, wondering (it's a big congregation, several thousand families, so for Lily to be the little girl was interesting), she addressed me, adding, "I always love watching her, she's so cute."

This meant a lot to me, because I remember the many years before I had a child, watching other children playing, thinking how wonderful they were. Now someone else is thinking that about my child! How cool is that? Of course I always think Lily's the most fabulous child in the whole church every time we go to Mass. I love hearing her chatty little voice ring out in the silences, and how no one turns around shushing her, at least not in the this church, as our motto (I know it's called something else, but "motto" is easier to remember) is "Make a joyful noise."

Clever Girl

2010-02-27T12:46:00.003-06:00

Here's Lily cookin' Mac' 'n' Cheese with peas with Daddy. Takin' a test bite.

Last night Lily picked up a cloth flower and said it was a flower with a nest in the middle for a bird. I thought it was fabulously clever as the middle of the flower (a Gerber daisy) did look like a bird nest in shape, if not size.

Then she said something brilliant about the toilet. Wait! It's not about poop, don't worry. No, the thingy that pulls up the plug for the water when you flush broke, and so I had to take the top off the tank so I could manually flush it. When Lily saw how the mechanism worked (she is very studious when she sees something new), and watched it a few times, she said "It's like Cranky!" That is a crane in the world of Thomas the Tank Engine, if you don't know. I thought it was great that she related one thing to another, and also that she used the word "like." Sometimes she'll say something IS something else, like any red car is Lightning McQueen, and if I say "Yes, it is like Lightning McQueen," she'll insist "No, Mommy, it's not like Lightning McQueen, it is Lightning McQueen!" So when she's playing, she enters the imaginatory world wholeheartedly and insists that I do as well. But if she's figuring out the world, then she makes a distinction. I love it!

Back in My Day

2010-02-15T12:24:00.003-06:00

Lily, looking out the window at an older neighbor lady snowblowing her driveway:
When I was an older man I used to have a snowblower.

I know, it's hilarious. It's also exciting, because it's about her imagination and how it's developing and taking off into new realms. Before it was always Mom and Dad who had to make up stuff, like she asks what Cocoa is saying, what her trains dream about, etc. Of course we always ask her what she thinks, but mostly she'd just ask us again. Now she's starting to make up stuff herself. It's quite entertaining, as you can see.

Getting To No

2010-02-09T20:45:00.004-06:00

You know, like getting to yes, except it's NO. No, no, no, said the toddler. So cooperative before, and now not so much. I suppose it was inevitable, that my two-year-old would start acting like, well, a two-year-old. And it's actually good, it means she's making more decisions. Doesn't that sound nice, that she's figuring out how to make decisions? Yeah, she's the decider.

Of course, it's also annoying as hell.
Lily, it's time to go to sleep.
No, I don't want to nap anymore.
[Note: no nap had thus far occured.]

Lily, we need to clean these up. Can you help me put these blocks back in the box?
No. (leaves room)

or, even better:

No, thank you.

Well, gosh, at least she has manners when she's being contrary! The good thing, we've noticed, is that often about a minute after she says no, she'll come back and do as you asked, like it was her idea. I think that's good, it shows that she's more concerned about being able to make the decision herself than being able to just do what she wants all the time. She's getting more independent. My baby!

and the baby goes snork!

2010-02-03T02:04:00.002-06:00

Here i am at 2 in the morning. I can't sleep because I have a dang headache and I'm watching a Netflix movie on my laptop for distraction because when I just lie here and try to sleep everything hurts more. And I have headphones on so I won't make any noise in consideration of the two sleepers next to me. I turn and see Lily's face in the light of the computer screen, and she is so sweet and perfect-looking, like all children in their sleep. I pause the movie to listen to her breathe, and instead I hear something even more wonderful--a funny little snoring snork noise that makes me grin. And it feels like even though I am a mess right now, in some way all is right with the world because of this snork. What power our babies have to inspire us!

The Bright Side

2010-01-24T05:28:00.007-06:00

The good thing about how much I hate our current ECFE class is that it has focused my attention on what I do and do not want in a school for Lily. At Hale, the school we've gone to for most of our ECFE classes, I took for granted a lot of wonderful things, and I guess I assumed all schools would be like this. Because they should be.

At Hale, when I come back from the parent discussion time, I usually get some comments from the teacher or assistant about how Lily did that day, and what she did, like one time she really wanted stories, and so she sat with several other kids and listened to the teacher read stories, and then she and the other kids played reading to each other. At Wilder (the class we're in now), I never get a report, and it feels like the teacher is kind of distant. He's very focused on preparing the kids for school, getting them to all do one thing together, and follow directions, and even find their name tag (with mom's help) for attendance. Attendance? Recognizing letters? Excuse me, they're two. TWO! They should be playing! He even has them do exercises, and tells them it's important to exercise. Well, yeah, but do we have to make it a chore? Why can't you just put some music on or sing and have them dance around and hop and run?

Then there's little things, like having windows in the classroom (none at Wilder), and knowing that if I leave something in class by accident, it will be there next time with our names on it. I've lost several things at Wilder, never to be seen again. My notes from discussion, a binky, and who knows what else. The teachers just don't seem to be personally involved with us. It's like the class is a blob of students instead of individual kids and parents.

Oh, and how about this little gem: during parent discussion time at Wilder in the first class, the teacher explained what the procedure was in case of a lock down. A lock down. As in if there was a "situation," all classrooms would be locked until the building was deemed clear of the "threat." Kind of like in prison. Or Columbine. Jesus. I mean, yeah, okay, it's good to know that if I leave the discussion room of my own volition, against the better advice of the teacher, the teacher in the kids' classroom will not unlock that door to let me in to see my child, because he would be protecting the children against the "threat." So I'd be stuck in the halls, because nobody would let me in any doors.

When asked if there had ever been a "threat," the teacher said rather too nonchalantly that there had been one the previous year and no one was hurt. When asked for more details she glossed over it very quickly and moved on to the next thing on her list.

I don't want Lily in a school where this is a top priority. I mean, of course safety is a top priority, but you know what I mean.

So, having a fire lit under my butt from this experience of "bad school," I sent in the application this week for Lily's preschool. We went to a preschool fair a couple of months ago and it was interesting, but it seemed rather in the distant future. Not anymore.

Last week we went to an information meeting for a specific school that we thought sounded nice, and it was fabulous. I want to go be a student there. It's Willow House Preschool, Waldorf and Lifeways inspired. It's all about nurture. The school is actually in a house, or is a house, I should say, since the whole house is the school, including the backyard, where they have a fabulous actual willow house, check it out:

Isn't it wonderful? They spend a lot of time outside, which is great. The teachers (they are two women, both with teaching backgrounds) said they only stay indoors if the temp is below zero outside. So they go out in the rain! (In raincoats, of course). There's a K-3 school across the street with 3 playgrounds, and they go on field trips a couple blocks away to a park with a lake.

They do lots of handwork, like sewing and knitting, and making little gnomes and sheep from wool. Ah, I feel happy just thinking about it. So that's the bright side. It's very clear to me now that this school we are going to send Lily to is a very special place, and I won't be taking it for granted (that's why I sent in our application the day of the kid-hitting discussion). So my response was positive, you could say. I've been venting here for a couple of hours now, and I hope you aren't bored reading it all. I just really needed to put it all down in black and white (or in this case, green and beige). Yes, that icky stuff really happened, and then look, over here, a fabulous counterpoint!

Oh, and another response I have to this ickiness is that I'm taking a community ed class on making a "Magic Fairy Tree House." Here's a sample of what the teacher made:

Okay, I really have to stop now. I hope all this long-winded rambling makes sense in the morning (I haven't slept yet--havin' a headache).

Ditching School

2010-01-24T04:51:00.004-06:00

No, not really. But sometimes I want to. I'm talking about the ECFE (Early Childhood and Family Education) class that Lily and I are in right now, and how much I hate it. I waited too long to register for this session and got what was left, which was not the school we usually go to, but instead a school that has a very different socio-economic base. It's not really too much farther away from home than the school we've usually gone to for the last two years. But it's in the other direction, in more ways than one.

In the most recent class, during the parent discussion time (the kids are in the classroom with other teachers and helpers while the parents get together with one teacher in a separate room) there was actually a discussion about whether or not it's ok to HIT your kid. And I quote, from one of the dads, "There's a big difference between occasionally hitting your kid and abusing them." This is when I felt like getting up and leaving, and not quietly. The discussion was supposed to be about discipline, and this is what I got to listen to. In other ECFE classes, I have always felt validated listening to other parents and what they are going through with their kids, and I've always gotten helpful ideas to think about or try with Lily (or myself). This class, no. It's frustrating. I don't want to be there. I'm not dealing with the same issues, or, maybe I am, but I'm not parenting at the same level.

I'm trying not to be snobby or prejudiced, but it seems to me these folks are learning how to be parents at a really basic level, and I'm not. For instance, there's one mom who's dealing with her son spitting. To stop this behavior, she "pops him in the mouth," as in, hits him in the mouth. Now, terrible as this sounds, she did concede that hitting him is not working. And she was asking for help, for other ideas that would be better and teach him a better lesson. So, good for her. She's getting a lot out of the class, and she's trying hard. But I just don't feel like I have anything to discuss with her when we split up in small groups. And that she has nothing to offer me. Is that mean? I end up feeling like my challenges are trivial compared with hers.

There's one mom who I really can NOT stand. She has twins and two more at home, and she is the long-suffering mom. It's all about how difficult it is for her. Even the weather is against her. I never hear her happy about anything. Except that she seems to really enjoy complaining. And doling out advice to everyone else. She seems to think that because she has more than one child, she knows more than those of us with "only one." It's obnoxious. Here's some of her advice: "TV is a great motivator." As in, you can get kids to do what you want if you offer them tv. Oy. She even admits it's probably bad parenting, but "I don't care, because it works." She's all about controlling her kids, and they are always trying to get away with something (her viewpoint). Sitting next to her (which I now avoid), I can feel the icky waves of stress and dischord flowing off of her.

There's another mom who has teenagers at home and she is constantly saying some variation of "Just wait, it's worse when they're teenagers."

These are not my people.

As far as the kids, some of them are like wild animals, running around screaming, or just sitting and yelling. Some are nice, though. I don't think Lily is enjoying the class as much as the classes she's had before at other schools, but I am trying to look at it positively. Maybe it's a good experience for her to have exposure to kids from different backgrounds, and to be the more mature kid in the bunch. Maybe she'll calm them down some. But sometimes I see her looking at some of the other kids like they are from another planet. Yes, honey, we are strangers in a strange land.

Mommy Doesn't Feel Good

2010-01-24T04:39:00.002-06:00

So I've been having a rough time recently with my migraines again. I was doing really well in November and December, and then on New Year's Day it all went to pot. I started having awful headaches and not being able to see clearly. It really scared me.

I got an MRI and they didn't find anything to explain this sudden flare-up, if I can call it that. So I'm going back to doing physical therapy and probably trying some other things like guided imagery and maybe yoga or pilates.

It's going to be a lot of work, and take time. Sometimes John will have to take vacation time so that I can go to physical therapy. I hate that. I want his vacation time to be spent on actual family vacation.

And I don't like it that I've had to poop out on Lily so much lately. I can't do a lot of the things she wants me to, like jumping up and down and chasing her, stuff she loves.

I feel bad that Lily has to grow up with a Mommy who has migraines all the time. It bothers me that I have to lie down on the couch sometimes and tell her I can't play. On the other hand, she seems to have developed some empathy since she's become more aware of when I don't feel well. She'll give me a kiss on the forehead and tell me that will make me feel better (Of course, I modeled this first and she's chosen to imitate it). I know I've seen other kids who have a sick sibling and they have developed empathy as well. So maybe it's ok. The thing is, it has to be okay. I don't have control over this.

And I know that I will feel better once I get some PT and find some other things to help. I'm just really crabby about it right now. I think once I stop having a constant headache, I will be able to see the forest for the trees and believe it's really there, not just a mirage. For instance, I know intellectually that Lily will be ok even though I'm sick sometimes. My Mom had migraines that confined her to bed sometimes, too. And she had to go to the hospital ER sometimes. And yet, I turned out ok. I wasn't scarred for life. I don't remember those parts the most. I remember that she played games with me all the time, and how much I loved that.

Well, I have my first PT in a few days. Better days are ahead.

How To Live Green with a Toddler

2010-01-12T19:56:00.002-06:00

Don't ask me, cuz I don't know. We recycle and I save all kinds of crap from going in the trash and try to find a way to reuse it. And so it pains me to see anything go to waste. Especially food. Now, I'm not even talking about the way Lily grazes and only eats 3 bites of anything and wanders off. At least then I can put the remaining food in the fridge for later (unless I leave the room for .0001 seconds, in which case Cocoa steals it and makes me crazy). No, I'm talking about the food getting knocked on the floor or dropped.

I know it's because she's only two and doesn't yet have a lot of coordination. Or attention to what her body does when she moves. Like she doesn't notice that turning her wrist while holding a plate in her hand makes the plate turn over and the food go on the floor. Oy. I try to remember not to put too much food on a plate at once, for just such a contingency. And yet it still drives me crazy. Now, I'm not averse to a few germs, but I can't pick up the food and brush it off. Because everything has dog hair on it.

Okay, so I'm cranky. I couldn't sleep last night because of my dang headache. And my new glasses have not come in yet. I'm sick of not being able to see. I need baby kisses.

Today

2010-01-11T22:46:00.002-06:00

Here's a picture from today. She's laying on the couch next to me. She got a haircut today, at her request. Her hair had been getting in her eyes and bothering her. This was her 3rd haircut ever and she's a little more ok with it each time. Today she didn't cry at all or try to get out of the chair. She just held my hand very tightly at first, then relaxed after a while and was ok with me just standing right next to the chair. It helped they had Thomas the Tank Engine videos.

Christmas Pic

2010-01-11T22:41:00.001-06:00

This is one of my favorite pics from Christmas. Lily got this new art easel from my folks and she immediately figured out a way to climb on it. She made me laugh and we were having a lot of fun.

"Babies Sing on Trains"

2010-01-11T19:30:00.002-06:00

It's a new hit song, composed by Lily in the car today. She just started singing, it was the most adorable thing ever (since the last most adorable thing she did five minutes before that). First the verse was "Babies on the train," and then she modified it, first to "baby rides the train," then the funny "Babies sing on trains!" She asked me to sing it with her, which was easy, since it was only one line over and over, and it was a wonderful moment. Then she told me not to sing, so she could belt it out on her own. She's brilliantly talented, what can I say?

She's also got complex musical taste. The things that I think she'll like, that are cute and played on a xylophone or other baby-friendly instrument? She's oh so bored with those. After she had finished composing her toddler transportation ditty, she wanted me to put some music on. I tried some Pink Martini but she was oh so bored with that. I tried some Blue Man Group (Las Vegas 4 Song Sampler)on a whim, and she loooooved it. "Make it louder!" she said. Wow. Maybe she'll be drummer like her mama. Sniff. No, not really. I have no twisted desire to see her relive my musician days. The smoky bars, the long nights...just kidding, I was only a musician in junior high and high school and the biggest hardship I endured was walking through horse poop in parades. And I was damn proud to do it. I was a superb marcher.

Fun Family Christmas

2009-12-26T19:47:00.003-06:00

Much as I would have liked to celebrate Christmas with my family in Seattle, we did have a really nice Christmas Day with just the three of us. She's a little more aware of Christmas now than last year, although she still calls Santa "Christmas" when you ask her who that is. She took her time opening presents and playing with each one, which was really nice, the way I was hoping it would go. Of course, it went on for hours. We had french toast for breakfast, then opened a bunch of presents and then went to noon mass at the Basilica. I think I'm over going to midnite mass, although it was really amazing to attend when I had the stamina. Maybe when Lily gets older and I'm old and can't sleep anyway, we'll go again. Ha.

When we got back home after church, Lily was really tired, in fact she fell asleep about 10 minutes from home. But then she insisted it was NOT naptime, so stayed up for another hour, and we opened presents again. She was doing her "I'm not sleepy" frenzy and was opening packages too fast, even ones that she knew were not for her. Then we opened a present from Wendy, and it was a fun blanket. I said "Hey, that might be good for nap" and that was a great idea! She went for it. Phew!

Later we opened the rest of the presents and ended with the easel my Mom and Dad got her. I think that and the train set I got off Woot! were her favorite things. And she got a lot of things!! This morning she got up and came downstairs where John was already up, and said, "Let's open more presents!" Ha! The thing is, we will be opening even more presents next week when we see John's dad and Dave and family.

Now, I have a question about accumulating all these wonderful toys and things for Lily. How do you get rid of anything?? One mom from the Lakeshore Learning store told me, "when they're asleep." Yeah, I guess that would be less stressful. But how do I choose what should go? What if she wants it next week?? Ack.

"My Head is Going Crazy"

2009-12-24T01:32:00.004-06:00

I don't know where this came from, but whenever we're in the car and I back up, like for parking, Lily will say this. The first few times I thought I wasn't hearing her right, but no, that's really what she was saying. It's funny, isn't it? She knows what's going on, she tells me, "Mommy, you're going backwards." And it's not that it bothers her--she likes it, because in the movie Cars (which she wants to watch every day, but we only let her watch it, like, a couple times a week) there's a silly character that's a car and he drives backwards and it's very funny.

My funny baby.

"I'm Not Sleeping"

2009-12-21T23:14:00.006-06:00

Yes, dear, and neither are we. Oh my Gawwwwwd, what a long day. Baby was very 2ish today. And I had a headache, which made me less patient. But it was like a thunderstorm of annoying 2-year-old behavior all day. Not responding to questions when asked. Ignoring me when I tell her to stop doing something, like EVERY thing I asked her not to do today. Breaking stuff, just because. Well, I guess it's because she's being a scientist, but ANNOYING. Messing up my stuff. I even prepared a sculpture session for her, with tons of my materials, like all the stuff she wants to get into all the time. That worked for about 10 minutes. And I was doing it with her, doing my own sculpture, and so of course she has to come over and mess with my stuff, even though I was helping her with hers when she wanted. No, she has to grab my pieces that I've already glued on, and pull them off. Aaaaaarrrgh! Then she pulled a stamp pad apart while "helping" to clean it up after she pulled it off a table taller than her. Like, pulled the spongy bits off the backing. And got it on herself, her clothes, the floor, and her binky.

Walking away when you're reading her a story. So you ask her about 4 times if she's done with the story or wants to finish it, with no response, before you shut the book and get up to do something else. Only to have her come running and insist she wants the story! What she really wants is your soul. No, okay, that's a bit harsh. But if you had the day I had...she just wants your complete and undivided attention, even if she's not paying any attention. You aren't allowed to do anything else. You're like one of those 19th century English butlers who has to be standing by at all times in case the master needs his nose wiped, even if your father is dying in the next room (reference to Remains of the Day). But I digress.

Wouldn't eat anything but sugar today, except for a few bites of good stuff. Wanted something to eat before nap, so I got it for her and then told her I was going to get myself a sandwich, and she said she was almost done, so I didn't make a sandwich. Two hours later, she fell asleep for nap. OH MY GAWD! And that was after 74 different delaying tactics.

Drinking my drink, after I let her make a cup of lemonade for herself. Grabbing my food out of my hand to nibble it, even if she has the exact same food on her plate. Not eating her food unless you feed her bite by bite. That one is really getting old.

Phew. It's 11:30pm now and I think she's finally gone to sleep, as I don't hear her running, jumping, or talking anymore in the other room. John got a taste of all this fun when he got home. I had to go in the bathroom and cry.

It's HARD being a parent some days. And it's not like she's trying to be a little monster. She's just two, and she's acting like a 2-year-old. I'm not even angry with her, although I am angry. And frustrated. And I make sure to tell her that Mommy is not mad at her. Most of the things she's doing, she can't help, she's not intentionally annoying me. She's just figuring things out. And testing limits. That one's a bit harder. I mean, the 74 delaying tactics? Who wouldn't want to scream? And it's even harder right now because she's sick. She has a cough and supersnot ("I have boogers," she'll tell us, when she needs her nose wiped) and a low fever. And so of course we cut her a little more slack. I think the 73rd delaying tactic was that she wanted a bottle of water (no, we aren't giving our baby Evian, she just gets a baby bottle with water in it). And at first I was like "No, no more delaying!" But then I thought, well, crap, what if her throat is sore and she really needs a drink of water? And I'm supposed to be pushing the fluids anyhow. So I asked her "Okay, do you really need a drink of water?" knowing full well she'd say yes. And I got it for her. Which gave her the opportunity to get up and start jumping on the bed again. Aaaaaaaaaa!

And in the middle of it all, she's constantly hugging me and kissing me and cuddling up and saying "I love you, Mommy." So whattya gonna do?

Jumpin'

2009-12-13T21:07:00.003-06:00

"Everybody JUUUUUUUUUUMP!!!!!" This was Lily's mantra just a little while ago on our bed. We bounced along gamely, mostly watching her to make sure she didn't fall off the bed. She's so cute when she jumps, it's with such abandon and freedom.

Today we had our monthly art group meeting and John was being docent for Basilica tours at the same time, so I got to bring Lily with me to art group. She's really warming up to people, I love it. Today she was sharing everything, going around and asking people if they wanted orange slices from her orange, and then sharing the colored pencils that Sharon got out for her to color with. I swear, she sees her art aunties more than her grandparents who only live an hour away. Will I get this when I'm in my sixties, the desire to travel around the world and neglect seeing my grandkids more than 3 times a year?? Yeah, I'm a little peeved about it. But there it is. And what great art aunties she has! Sue brought her a wrapped present so she would have something to open when we exchanged our gifts. Such a sweetie. I made a great choice for a godmother. And friend. I think Sue is almost as much fun to shop for as Lily!!

Sorry no pictures right now, our camera broke and I'm not remembering how to upload pics from our old one. Never buy an HP camera, it's a piece of crap.

Angels on the Elevator

2009-12-11T01:51:00.003-06:00

Sounds like a title of a Frank Capra film, doesn't it? Well, it's actually about a toddler putting things where they don't go. And Mommy trying to keep her mouth shut and let her experiment. We have one of those old (as in I had one when I was a kid back in the day--the 1970's) Fisher Pricer garages, with the ramp and the elevator and cars that come with it. And it's become the central toy that all other toys revolve around. It's like the center of Lily's toy universe.

We have a lot of other cars besides the ones that come with the garage, and it's fun to play with all of them at the same time, seeing which ones fit down the ramp and how fast they go (Hot Wheels cars go pretty fast once they exit the ramp). Mostly Lily likes to initiate new cars into the garage, but sometimes other toys get the garage treatment as well. Today she tried to get a small watering can to go down the ramp. It didn't. Go. Just fell over. Getting out Christmas decorations, we found a couple of crocheted clothespin angels that a friend in Utah made us 15 years ago or so. Lily of course took them apart so they had no base to stand on, and then today she decided they should go for a ride in the elevator. I'm not sure if they fit or not. I had to look away and bite my tongue. This is a constant process I go through as a parent: She decides to play with something that isn't really a toy. I think: Can she hurt herself with it? Will it break? If it does, can I easily fix it? If I can't, do I really care? Is the joy of exploration worth more than the risk of the thing getting busted?

It's like I need a flowchart in my head. And on days when I have a headache, it's just too much to figure out for a hurting head. I've found I have to just decide ahead of time to stay calm and let things go. Within reason, of course. I'm allowed to yell a bit if she tries to turn on the stove.

Wow, I'm tired. But I have to share that I'm very proud of myself for getting through this day and keeping baby safe and happy. I've had a rotten headache all day long, Nora was out sick so I had no help and no breaks, and then John had to stay late at work. I even made Lily dinner, when I would have liked nothing better than to lie on the couch with an icepack on my head. Oh, and did I mention I had nausea as well? Those pesky migraines.

You know what makes it easier? I gets snuggles and hugs and cute little kisses all day long from Lily. If she's not already in my arms, most of the time all I have to do is look at her and open my arms wide, and she'll come running and jump into them. How can you complain when you get so much love?

Been Gone So Long

2009-12-10T01:10:00.003-06:00

I've really been missing posting on this blog so I'm trying to get back into it again, and I think I'll change some things.

So let's just start with today. Lily is sick with some kind of cold and has a runny nose. No fever, but tired and cranky. Today was refusal day, as in everything (ok, 95% of everything) I proposed was rejected. There is always a cute element to her behavior, even when she's being a booger, which is often my saving grace that keeps me from getting really mad and just makes me smile and keep calm. I have had a migraine today so that makes it all the harder for me.

So the cute part of Lily's refusal is that she has her grammar mixed up a bit. I'll ask "Do you want some pear to eat?" And she'll say "I want not to eat a pear." And even though it's the seventeenth thing I've offered her to eat, I can still marvel at how she almost got it right with how to say a very clear NO. I mean, she's 2 1/2, for Chrissake, and she's speaking in complete sentences! She uses present and past tense correctly, says please, thank you, and you're welcome, and is generally amazing with her use of language.

Still, I have to admit I was extremely annoyed today, as she had decided that pretty much everything Mommy offered was rejected. And if she actually wanted to do something that I suggested, like read a book, she would go ask Daddy to do it instead. John was home today because of a big snowstorm, and so I was unpopular most of the time. Usually that doesn't get to me, but the headache kind of ruins my patient Mommy demeanor.

Tomorrow I guess I won't take her to school because she is sick and I don't want to give it to anyone else, even if it's not the flu. I took her to art class on Tuesday morning because the kids don't really interact much, as they all have their own art space and work individually. And she liked being out. The snowstorm was just starting and she loved seeing the snowflakes coming down. She was sort of hopping around like a little bunny.

John bought her a sled at Target today, which was a great idea, but I don't think we have any snowpants or waterproof jackets for her yet. Many, it's hard to keep up with having the appropriate seasonal clothes when they are growing so much!

Popsicle Mind Expansion

2009-04-25T23:46:00.002-05:00

Today Lily had her first Bomb Pop. I thought she needed more than just the same three flavors or original popsicles. She liked it. She liked drawing on her food tray in blue and red. And eating it up, all three flavors. I was thinking how we just take that name for granted. I mean, Bomb Pop? Here, kiddies, here's your violence food. Weird. But they're good. Yum-yum, as Lily says.

A little searching turned up that they were invented in 1955 and celebrated in June around Independence Day, so I'm guessing it was a post-war cultural symbol. Very American. Sounds like fodder for James Lileks.

New words are popping out of her like, well, popcorn! Here's a selection:

duck
moo
boy
step
in
out
up
down
mine
ice

time for me to go to bed. Johnny is riding the Ironman bike ride tomorrow (I think it's 100 miles) so I won't be able to sleep in like usual and let him feed Lily breakfast. But we'll do okay. Sue, her godmother, is picking us up around noon, and we're going to my art group for our monthly meeting. Luckily we're meeting at the person's house whose daughter watches Lily during the week a lot, and she's available, so they'll have fun while I get to visit and play with my art buddies. I'm bringing my glitter mod podge for anyone who wants to try it.

Nite nite. Think happy thoughts for us this week, I'm trying to think of it as an adventure, as opposed to an opportunity for panic. :)

Arty Baby Photo

2009-04-25T23:19:00.003-05:00

I know you can't see her face, but I just love this picture: All the promise contained in that colorful box of chalk, her hand reaching into into, the blur of movment in her hair, the way her white sandals stand out against the dark cement, and even how there are pink lines already drawn around her on the ground. I have this as my desktop wallpaper now.

It is soooo nice to take her outside now that it's warmer, although it only got up to about 50 today. But she loves to explore. Yesterday she experienced her first ladybug. Bug is now a favorite word, and whenever we go outside we must look for them.

She still has a cold and cough so we didn't take her to class. I thought she might get overwhelmed with all the activity and also didn't want to spread her boogie cooties. Mommy and Daddy already have them, and that's enough. John took her to the park instead today but she wasn't very active, so my hunch was right. She was cranky today, and I think it's partly that she's sick, and partly that she knows something is up about Daddy. He leaves for Vegas for a 5-day conference on Monday morning and it's just be Liy and Mommy (and Doggie) for 5 nights. No Daddy. I'm nervous, but right now I'm feeling a little better, a little more like it could be a fun adventure. Sigrid and Nora are both coming some extra hours so really Tuesday and Thursday will be my only loooong days with no help.

Monday morning Sigrid is coming over and I thought we could go to the downtown library via the light rail train. Lily's never been on it and I think she would love looking out the windows. She's seen the train from our car, so she knows what it is. And the downtown library is new, with lots of fun play space. We can even look for books on bugs! So that's my Monday plan. Then we get back home before 1pm when Nora arrives.

My cold is doing a lot better since I started taking my homeopathic sinus med, Sinusalia. I highly recommend it for anyone who gets sinus infections with those monster sinus pressure headaches. I can take Ibuprofen, Sudafed, Benadryl, Nasalcrom, but nothing gets rid of the pressure like the Sinusalia. I know I sound like a commercial, and I don't even play a doctor on TV! But I'm just sayin'.

Shower Baby

2009-04-25T00:18:00.003-05:00

This baby likes the shower, especially with Mommy or Daddy in it. She loves watching us take showers and handing us her tub toys (so generous), so she really loves it when we ask if she wants to get in. So we just strip her right there and pop her into the tub. And then the whale kisses the goldfish and all is well.

Her hair is sooooooo soft after we wash it, I just want to hug her tight and drink in the wonderfulness. I still love napping with her, and how she burrows into the crook of my chest while I curl around her (naps are always on Mommy and Daddy's bed).

Uh oh I just almost fell over. I guess I'm more tired than I thought. Lily has some kind of cold and I got her cooties, so I'm pretty tired. Maybe I can write more tomorrow.

John leaves Monday for his Vegas business conference. I am not going to panic. He gets back Friday night and then Saturday morning is the Walk for the Animals, which we are determined to go to. Lily will be in hog heaven with all those doggies. Not to mention how much we love it. M'kay, going bed now. G'nite. Ba bye.

Sidwalk Chalk Season!

2009-04-24T22:32:00.002-05:00

Finally, it's getting warm outside. Well, we saw the neighbor baby had some sidewalk chalk and I thought that sounded like a fun idea, so here you see Lily amidst all of our art (Nora, Daddy, Mommy, and squiggles from Lily). Daddy even drew an airplane for Lily when she pointed one out in the sky. Then she licked the one Daddy drew. Um, honey, don't lick the ground. I can't find any logic there. Anyone?

Doggie!

2009-04-17T21:58:00.004-05:00

I have been neglecting this blog, I know. Imperfect Mommy. What can I say? I've been busy. Obsessing over making stuff to get into a craft fair, and it's been almost a week now and I haven't heard back from them yet which drives me crazy because a patient person I am not. And having headaches, like that Alligators All Around alphabet book/song from Maurice Sendak. Did you know that H is Having Headaches? That's so perfect for me. Seems like I'm having them every day now. So some days I take the painkillers and it's easier and then some days I can't and I try to take other measures like ice pack, Head on (that glue stick for your head, basically like mentholatum, it cools the surface of your skin is all), staying out of the sun, etc. It sucks. I'm still adjusting my medications. But it's taking a long damn time and I get tired. And then there are the days I wake up in the morning and say "nope, can't do it." And John has to completely rearrange his schedule and I have to call my neurology clinic and hope I can get in for an infusion appointment sometime that day.

Lily is doing well. This picture is of her leaving the Children's Hospital after we took her to her free eval from the occupational therapist as a follow-up to her being a preemie. Verdict: she's a genius. She's either caught up the two months or surpassed them significantly in her development. I need to remember that, I'm doing a good job. Good mommy. Because of Spring Break we haven't had ECFE class for two weeks and I've missed it. The parks classes have started and so we go to the music class with the same teacher we did over winter and Lily is happy about that. Today was our first class back.

I took her to the Maul of America today to get some new jammies, some cooler ones, since it's finally, finally starting to warm up here. She was very good in the stores. No tantrums. Just exploring and showing me things. And she walked most of the way through the mall until after lunch. Lunch was a fiasco, but then sometimes it's like that. I was by myself with her and it's hard to balance everything. I burnt my hand on pizza, she didn't want to eat the pizza I got her, she spilled my smoothie all down the front of her shirt and pants and onto the chair, and then the topper was that she was twisting around on a chair (I didn't use a high chair) and she fell backwards off it and bonked her head on the floor. OWIE! I held her for a while. No staff came over to see if we were all right, so I didn't feel bad leaving them a mess to clean up. It wasn't that much of a mess, it was all in one pile. But what is with putting the napkins in one spot, light years away from the drinks, tables, and food??? Stupid.

Anyway, we got some good jammies at Carter's and an outfit at the Disney Store as well as a hat she picked out. I'm so glad she likes wearing hats now, she looks so cute in them. I know, she looks cute in everything.

la la la

2009-03-16T21:33:00.003-05:00

One of the things I love about a Mom is the opportunity for general silliness at any moment. We wer are trying to get Lily to nap and she was sticking her big toe in her mouth! First we said "No, no, don't eat that!" but then of course we wanted her to do it again for the camera.

I also love singing all the time. You can pretty much make up any song for any occasion. I love singing to her. I like singing anyway, but it's wonderful that she likes me to sing to her. And John sings to her all the time, too. He does different silly songs, like ending every nursery rhyme with "threw it out the window!" That one is pretty silly.

And how she smushes her face into mine when she sort of wakes up but just want more snuggle to get back to sleep. She doesn't just curl into a little space under your arm, she sort of plows over your face with hers and turns around until she likes her position. It's very funny.

Silly Rabbit

2009-03-09T21:49:00.001-05:00

Lily was sticking her big toe in her mouth here but wouldn't do it for the camera so Daddy was teasing her. She's a giggle monster. This was part of attempted nap time.

No Nappy No Happy

2009-03-09T21:46:00.002-05:00

No, it wasn't just that. But I do feel like crap in this picture. The orange thread is my earplugs, they're attached to each other like mittens. I think I got them at the State Fair. Today I finally bought some new ones at Walgreen's. And really, all that matters in this picture is that my hair looks good. I got a haircut last week and damn it looks good.

The Day Without a Nap

2009-03-09T20:52:00.002-05:00

It was a very long day. Sunday. We spent probably a total of 4 hours at different times trying to get this little cute booger to nap and she just wouldn't do it. Part of the problem is that she does have another virus, dag nabbit! And she coughs when she lies down. Which makes it hard to sleep. Then you add stubbornness. I asked her who she got her stubbornness from and she very clearly said, "Daddy." He stubbornly denies this to be the case.

So today I have a headache for various reasons, one of which was that I went to see my headache doctor and had to sit 40 minutes in the waiting room. I forgot to bring my earplugs. I have been using them more lately as a coping mechanism and I could have really used them in that office. There was a small child there who didn't want to be there and he repeatedly yelled at his mother, "I wanna go home!" Turns out he was the patient being seen. The mother was a saint. She never rasied her voice to him, just gave him other options, and soon got him playing a game. She also had a small baby with her, so she really had a handful. I, on the other hand, had Nora at home taking care of Lily, while I sat waiting for my appt. I was trying to read a book but the book is boring and I don't know why I don't just stop reading it except I want to see the movie because Brendan Fraser is in it and so it must be good...but anyway it was too hard to read with a headache because it messes up my vision.

I'm a barrel of laughs, today, huh? I think I have peri-menopause. My GP doesn't think so yet but I think she'll change her mind soon. I am having wacked out periods and PMS, like RIGHT NOW for instance, I am so crabby and my head hurts really a very lot and I'm exhausted...

Lily said a new word this morning: Cheese. But she says it really fast: chees. No time for the silent e. She loves to eat shredded cheese.

So not only is her nose still running, but this afternoon she got diarrhea. AAaaaaaaah!! Kill me now! I'll never get out of the house before Spring! Have I mentioned yet how much I hate March? In Minnesota? It would be different if I were in Kauai, Hawaii, or San Diego, California, but here? It stinks. It's icy. I fell today. It hurt. Everything is brown. It's the second snowiest month which is a big waste because no one wants snow anymore by this time. It's lost its charm. Go away, March.

Done with Fevers

2009-03-05T21:36:00.002-06:00

Oh, yeah, I forgot to say I think we're done with the fevers now. And viruses. She only has a little cough and a little bit-o-snot left. Hoorah! So we got to go to our last ECFE Toddlers class yesterday, which she was very happy about. I didn't take her when she was sick. Of course, some people did, I found out. One kid was puking with the flu last week and although he's stopped puking, he still has diarrhea. And Mom brought him to class anyway! I was told by the doctor at Children's Clinic that as long as they have diarrhea they are still highly contagious.

Grrrr. Then last night my throat started hurting again like I could barely swallow, and I couldn't talk without coughing. He probably cootied me, the brat. Actually he was a brat. He's going through the "mine" phase, or should I say "everything is mine"? Lily is very sharing, and she went to give him a toy and he looked at her all mad and swiped it out her hand. She ran back to me and I gave her a hug. Brute.

Snowsuit on the Swing

2009-03-05T21:21:00.003-06:00

Today it got up to 42 degrees. So it was all melty outside. And while not exactly warm, for Minnesota in March, you can't pass that up, you have to go outside. So I took Lily in her stroller, suited up in her snowboots and suit, to play on the swings. Well, it wasn't pretty. She ended up having a good time, but what a struggle it was for me!

They haven't plowed the parking lot in the park yet, or the inner trail close to the playground. So I had to leave the stroller and pick her up and slog through some deep snow to get to those darn swings. I was not giving up. Of course, I didn't wear my snow boots. So my feet got cold and a bit wet.

And when I put her in the baby swing, it was hard to push her booted feet through the leg holes. Then when I went to take her out of the swing, it was like she was vacuum-packed into it in the puffy snowsuit. It was crazy!

So then we went to the slide, and although she wanted to climb the stairs, she couldn't lift her feet high enough, probably because of the Michelin tireman effect from the snowsuit. So I had to carry her up that, set her at the top, then I'd run around to the other end of the slide and say "Okay!" And she'd push off and come all the way down, slowly stopping at the bottom. Just the right speed. I think we did that about ten times. She liked it.

She has suddenly become aware of airplanes and was pointing in the sky a lot while we were at the park because she kept hearing them. But there was a cloud cover so she couldn't see them. Then she heard this construction vehicle making that beeping sound they make, and she became obsessed with it. She wanted to see what was making the noise and go follow it. We had heard another from inside the house that morning and it just wasn't satisfying for her when I said, "Yes, I hear the 'beep beep beep,' it's a truck outside." Lucky for us the truck came near the swings, so she did get to see it. It was a scoopy thing, I can't remember what those are called. And it looked like the guy was using the scoop to flatten the snow on the trail, as opposed to actually shoveling it or using a trail snowplow on it.

Owie

2009-02-24T21:16:00.003-06:00

Poor little pookie. She's having high fevers and coughing a lot in the last several days. She had a rough day. Monday morning we called to get an appt at her clinic and the soonest they had was 2:15 today, Tuesday. Then her temp spiked at 104.4 yesterday afternoon and when I called the triage nurse, all she could tell me was to give her ibuprofen and dress her in cooler clothes and keep the appt. Here she is cooling off in a t-shirt and eating a popsicle in Dad's lap:

So we go in today and they had to do some very unpleasant things. 1. Catheter to collect urine. Owie! 2. Blood draw. Owie! And then we had stay another half hour to see some results, and Lily was ready to go home by then. She actually went to the exam room door and pulled on John's coat. I gave it to her, and she dragged it over to him, handed it to him, and then went back to the door and reached up and turned the handle. Let's go!

Well, turns out it's not an infection, her lungs are clear so it's not pneumonia, her urine is fine, her white cells are fine, so it's a virus. Which is good and bad. Means we can't do anything else than we've been doing, pushing fluids, giving her ibuprofin for the fevers, and keeping her comfortable. No quick fix. And they couldn't say how long this would last, since it's mystery virus. Agh!

Because of the timing of her appt. today, she missed her nap and so fell asleep in the car on the way home. We tag teamed with her during the nap at home, and she woke up after a couple hours with another high fever and kind of delerious, saying "Owie" and crying. Poor babe. So we did more ibuprofen and then sang to her for a while, and then tried some honey (this is the newest thing, the doc said: works better than cough syrup. 1 tsp of honey and it helps with the coughing at night). After a while she became more coherent and responded to Cocoa jumping upon the bed. She actually crawled over and put her head on Cocoa's belly at one point, and Cocoa didn't even flinch, so we are giving Cocoa lots of praise for helping. She's eating some applesauce now with Dad, and I'm about to go check on them. She'll be sleeping in our bed for probably the next few nights at least. I just don't want her out of my sight with the way her fever spikes. Think healing thoughts for us.

New Word

2009-02-21T21:20:00.002-06:00

First of all, this picture actually precedes the one from yesterday's post. I just don't have any new pictures because everyone is sicker today and the last thing on my mind is taking pictures. So here you see Lily has taken over the sink and is communing with the baby in the mirror.

She has a new word: Owie. She's been saying it the last few days about a little scratch she has on one hand, and when we ask her where the owie is, she'll hold up her hand to show us, and we kiss the owie. Well, today was a four-poop diaper day, which kinda stressed out her little bottom, and on the fourth go round, she did not want me wiping it off. I thought she was just being stubborn, and I was getting frustrated. I said "Lily, stop it!" And then I felt horrible because she started to cry a little and said "Owie!" over and over. She didn't want me touching her butt because she's getting diaper rash and it hurt! Poor baby. We finally got the job done with help from Dad, but she was very clear in letting us know that it was an owie. Good communication skills. I just hope her butt is better tomorrow. Or someone is better. We were all worse today, hacking and wheezing.

Warning: Extremely Adorable Naked Baby Ahead!

2009-02-20T21:35:00.002-06:00

She didn't exactly get a bath, but started playing in the sink and then her shirt got wet so we had to take that off, and then, you know, it just progressed from there until we just went ahead and took the diaper off and got the J&J baby soap out. Sort of a sponge bath in the sink.

More Peas, Please

2009-02-18T11:16:00.002-06:00

So when you have a cold and your nose is all stuffed up, it's really hard to eat. Because you have to close your mouth and then you can't breathe. So it's been frustrating for Lily to eat. So we've tried some new foods just for fun, and we found that she absolutely loves frozen peas! Well, I mean, we don't leave them frozen, we cook them, but in contrast to the icky mush that comes in baby food jars, frozen peas rock! Here she is snarfing some down and having fun doing it.

The other pic is her in her pajamas wandering around in my craft room lookin' for trouble. We're just starting to get her back on schedule for bedtime at 8pm, but it's not going too well. She is very cranky and doesn't want to go to sleep and so will cry and fuss and fight to get down out of your lap--Yes, we still let her fall asleep on us before we put her in the crib. We've never tried just putting her in the crib awake and saying "okay, it's bedtime, go to sleep." Well, maybe we have a couple times, but it didn't work. And we like holding her, so we feed her a bottle last thing and then sing to her and she goes to sleep, then we take her up to the crib. But she's been super fussy about going to bed while she's sick. Last night it took 2 1/2 hours to get her down, and John and I took shifts. I usually sing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" to her as a nap song and as a bedtime song, and so last night I made up some new words to sing to the same melody. She seemed to like them, as she finally laid her head down on my chest and went to sleep. Here's my lyrics:

Rest your head, close your eyes

and you will find a big surprise

Dreams are waiting just for you,

dreams of love--adventure, too.

Let this day be done and keep,

Darling girl now go to sleep.

She seems to be doing pretty well today. She was coughing an awful lot yesterday but not so much this morning. John says he is doing better but he can hardly talk. And I have a REALLY sore throat and am getting a sinus infection. Oh joy. That means nasal wash. God I hate doing that. It's so...I don't know, brutal. But anything is better than antibiotics. I think I need to go lie down. It's going to be a tired day for me.

Sick, sick, sick

2009-02-18T11:09:00.003-06:00

Boy, I'll be glad when winter is OVER this year. It snowed last night for the first time in weeks and I'm like "feh." Not fun anymore. Everyone is sick in our house. Lily has been sick the longest, poor babe, from one virus to a cold to an ear infection. She's a little trooper, but she gets worn out and cranky and then doesn't want to go to sleep. The top is just when she was starting to get sick, with croup at night. Then a few days later she had a high fever and was very droopy. She needed lots of her dolls around her.